Friday, October 24, 2008

Beware of the ten o'clock hour

My love is a beautiful amazing woman, but I must warn you when the clock strikes 10pm the bed is the only respite of what may come next. I admit I am a bit of a teaser so I definitely encourage the bloodcurdling seductress, but that is no excuse for the carnage. You may notice the vacant expression of baby who is learning his moms ways, while Little C is becoming more like his mom in a Davey Crockett, creepy kind of alternative. Beware of the ten o'clock hour in our home. Leave us in peace or you might soon face the grave and pray for me! (In reality my wife has improved her evening kindness - because I happen to be a night owl...she really does love me.)

The wife also mentioned our distaste for the morning hours. She is a lovely morning person (even though she may say she is a little scary, really she just loves sleep) but I may be the one to bite of your head. My sisters can attest to the atrocities from our childhood during the early morning hours. Ask the wife, you may wake up to this face...
Other than those times we are lovely people and you are welcome to visit our home! If you are a little daring during this Halloween season you are more than welcome to come visit in the morning or evening hours mauhhhh (evil laugh).

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Recently I made the mistake of reading a friend's blog :) His first statement went over the fact about how one should never read the last paragraph on a Tagged post - and that he had made the mistake in doing so - well, let's just say, "I didn't see the sign - and it didn't open up my eyes - and I am not happy now" (old song and now it's stuck in my head. I'm lovin' it) My point -I've Been Tagged.

Below is my "I've-Been-Tagged-Look-of-Alarm- Picture".


You know... I have got to give props to myself in this picture... the nails look phenomenal and the hair shows no obvious signs of needing a root touch up. I haven't been able to say that in a long time. **** This picture was taken two years ago****


Okay, now back on track. If you haven't noticed I sometimes struggle with being serious. I am a surface girl... keep it light my friends... keep it light. But this tagged thing has left me at a cross roads. So my ingenious idea is to provide you with two separate groups of answers - one that I can easily handle and one that - dare I say -is the REAL DEAL. It's like one of those choose your own ending books - except totally not. Alright, Good Luck Readers!


ONE THAT I CAN EASILY HANDLE


JOYS


1. PEPSI


2. COPYING ACCENTS - I CAN'T WATCH SOCCER - I'LL BE EUROPEAN FOR THE REST OF THE DAY


3. MICHAEL JORDAN


FEARS


1. SPIDERS LAYING EGGS IN MY TOES


2. READING ANOTHER ONE OF THE BELOVED SPOUSE'S STORIES ON JEDN'ERIC


3. PEOPLE SHOWING UP TO MY HOUSE BEFORE 10:30 A.M. - BECAUSE I AM SO NOT PRESENTABLE


GOALS


1. SUCCESSFULLY DISHING UP VEGETABLES ON MY KIDS PLATES WITHOUT THEM NOTICING I AM GOING WITHOUT.


2. FINISH MY BOOGER BOOK (ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT BOOGERS)


3. NOT BEING GRUMPY AFTER 10:00 P.M.


CURRENT OBSESSIONS


1. HOW IN THE WORD, TINA FEY AND SARAH PALIN AREN'T TRULY RELATED?


2. WHY MY BREATH SMELLS SO MUCH WORSE THAN EVERYBODY ELSES


3. THE BELOVED SPOUSE

REGRETS

1. LEAVING THE CLEAN LAUNDRY IN THE WASHER FOR TWO DAYS

2. NOT KNOWING THAT YOU SHOULD HOSE OFF A CHILD IN THE FRONT YARD WHEN THEY DECIDE TO HAVE A "BLAST OUT" IN YOUR CAR. (REFER TO PREVIOUS POSTS IF CONFUSED, I THINK SOMEWHERE AROUND MOTHER'S DAY)

3. DISCOVERING AT THE RIPE AGE OF 26 THAT YOU MUST HAVE BAKING SODA IN ORDER TO MAKE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. BAKING POWDERS JUST NOT THE SAME.

FACTS ABOUT ME

1. I THINK I CAN RAP - SO WE DO IT ALL DAY - LET ME HEAR YA SAY - HEY HO, HEY HO! (SORRY THAT'S PROBABLY SO INAPPROPRIATE :() i AM SURE IT IS IN REFERENCE TO CHRISTMAS -

2. I HAVE SPIT ISSUES. I WAS BORN WITH AN ABNORMAL AMOUNT OF MUCUS.

3. GOOD THING I HAVE A SPARKLING PERSONALITY - BECAUSE AFTER READING THROUGH THIS... I REALIZE I NEED TO WORK ON BEING MORE OF A LADY.

THE REAL DEAL

JOYS

1. MY BABIES AND THE BELOVED SPOUSE

2. THE SAFETY AND PEACE THAT COMES THROUGH LIVING THE GOSPEL

3. MY SISTERS, WHO ARE MY BEST FRIENDS! (Mom and Dad, I'd like to give you a shout out as well! love ya!)

FEARS

1. NOT PREPARING MY CHILDREN ENOUGH TO TAKE ON THE WORLD

2. I FEAR FOR THIS GREAT NATION AND THE HORRIBLE MORALS IT HAS ADOPTED

3. MY HOUSE AND MY FOOD STORAGE NOT BEING IN ORDER

GOALS

1. TO BE AS AMAZING TO MY SPOUSE AS HE IS TO ME

2. TO REMEMBER TO CHILL OUT AND ENJOY THE MOMENTS

3. HAVE A HOME WHERE OUR CHILDREN CAN FEEL THE SPIRIT. WHERE THEY CAN FEEL SAFE AND PROTECTED FROM THE THINGS OF THE WORLD.

CURRENT OBSESSIONS

1. STUDYING UP ON SOCIALISM - SO I CAN BE BETTER PREPARED FOR THE NEXT CONVERSATION WITH MY FATHER-IN-LAW :)

2. KNOWING WHERE I STAND POLITICALLY - WHICH LEADS ME TO FOCUSING MORE UPON MY GARDEN AND FOOD STORAGE

3. FEELING THE NEED TO DEVELOP MY TALENTS - WE WILL SOON FIND OUT IF THE BANJO FALLS IN THE TALENT CATEGORY.

REGRETS

1. ON MANY TEENAGE OCCASSIONS - BREAKING MY FAMILY'S HEARTS TIME AND TIME AGAIN

2. WASTED TIME ON WORDLY THINGS

3. NOT BEING A BETTER FRIEND

FACTS ABOUT ME

1. I AM A LIVING EXAMPLE OF HOW REAL THE ATONEMENT IS AND KNOW THAT CHANGE IS POSSIBLE - AND THAT IT'S WORTH IT!

2. I AM SHY AND A LITTLE SOCIALLY RETARDED - BUT I PROMISE I'LL TRY TO TELL YOU AT LEAST 3 FUNNY THINGS SO I CAN GET YOU TO LAUGH.

3. I LOVE GETTING TO KNOW MY CHILDREN BETTER EVERY DAY. I LOVE WATCHING THEIR PERSONALITIES DEVELOP AND THEIR SWEET EXAMPLE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

4. I LOVE THAT MY HUSBAND LOVES MY DISGUSTING SELF. I WATCH IN AWE AT HIS PARENTING ABILITIES, HIS SELFLESSNESS, HIS TESTIMONY, AND HIS DEVOTION TO LIVING THE COMMANDMENTS. I LOVE THAT HE TAKES ME ON DATES AND STOCKS OUR GARAGE WITH PEPSI - JUST TO MAKE ME SMILE!

I LOVE PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND.

I LOVE MY COUNTRY.

I LOVE MY HUSBAND.

I LOVE MY CHILDREN.

I LOVE MY LIFE!

AND LIFE WOULD NOT BE COMPLETE WITHOUT BSU FOOTBALL - I LOVE THE BRONCOS! I HAD TO END WITH SOMETHING A LITTLE UNEXPECTED. MY MUSH CUP HAD ABOUT RUN OVER.

Alright, Hola, Boberin, and Shaggy you're up! Try and be as sap friendly as me :)!


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Behind Every Good Marriage is a Big Dork!

Three years later we're still walking down that path of life together, holding hands, shakin' our booties. Well, maybe not shakin' our booties, I've never been quite good at that. Plus, the Beloved Spouse has butt issues. *which I have been strictly banned from blogging about, darn it all. * Sad as this may be, our story is still award winning- receiving five Pepsi's at the least, or popcorns, or stars, or whatever... I just usually prefer Pepsi... but no matter ...
Of course the Beloved Spouse's proposal was off the roof, gangsta style -
no sorry, I just had to make fun of myself for saying "off the roof".
The Beloved Spouse got down on one knee and popped the question at a Jazz game, while thousands of fans cheered. Amidst the feelings of joy, love, embarrassment, and nausea, the Jazz Bear had to remind me to say YES. He did this by grabbing my head; shaking it vigorously up and down.
Technically I guess he never proposed. The little Bear did. When you push on its paw it declares, "Not -So Domestic Goddess, I love you. Will you marry me?"
Oh, I am a sucker for the mush - and the Beloved Spouse truly knows how to cheese it up.
This year for our anniversary we flew to Las Vegas for some brief anniversary love.
You know, we can do this because we are totally loaded. Or maybe we just went to one of those time share seminars where they give you a free trip for attending. You decide-

Unfortunately, what happens in Vegas really stays in Vegas. Case and point - our camera. These are the only two ridiculous photos we have of the whole event. Now you all know how much I enjoy singing opera on thrill rides.

Our free hotel accommodations, or maybe just the scary, dirty, smokey motel that we chose to sleep in because we are penny pincher's, was an adventure. And we may have even tried to live through those evenings of second hand smoke bliss and the inch of water all over the bathroom floor - due to a leaky shower faucet - but, shoot dog. I called the front desk and asked if they possibly had a non-smoking room that we could be transferred to. They said, "You are in a non-smoking room."

Odd, I thought while glancing over at the ash tray sitting innocently on the table. I responded, "Why is there an ash tray in a non-smoking room?"

"Well, everyone kept smoking in our non-smoking rooms, so we had to start putting ash trays in them."

Well gosh, that's just pure genius if you ask me.

Using a coupon we found in our delightful non-smoking, ash tray filled room, we made a reservation elsewhere.

It was pretty mellow from this point on. We did lots of sight seeing, didn't gamble... very much, and just enjoyed being together. The Beloved Spouse and I have one sure thing going in our favor - we are pals. Even though our anniversary pictures were lost I am sure they would slightly resemble these. Because being dorks is what we do best - here, there, and everywhere. About a month ago we were doing a photo shoot of how our lips are on two totally different ends of the spectrum. The Beloved Spouse having an abundance thereof and me well... I don't think I have lips maybe just ips?
Profile View - I know you all are loving this.
Mine kind of look more like a hot pot, a geyser if you will - Bumpy with a spout? Yikes!
The morale to the story is- Dorkiness plus all that other fantastic juicy crap = happy successful marriage.I love you dear!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Oh What The?!

Great spot for fishing eh?You say horse pasture, we say horse pasture, Dad says - fishing pond. Nope, this is exactly the spot they told him was great for fishing.
Right... Even the horse is thinking,
"I am quite sure this is private property and all you're catching is my saliva and floaty horsey logs."
The horses thought makes us so hungry we decide to have picnic...
ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!
Hey, don't knock it until you try it. Or maybe just knock it.
Regardless, (oh sorry side note, don't you hate when people say irregardless? What the world does that mean? Regardless of being regardless... shouldn't be a word my friends - it's like adding on an irre to nevertheless. - Continuing on...)
Irrenevertheless, we still had a rockin' time.





And we even found a real fishing hole.









Saturday, August 23, 2008

I am Surrounded By Boogers!

Do you ever feel that way? Little C has developed this horrible habit of realizing he has a ton of sticky mucus in his nose every time he gets in the car. Every two seconds I hear, "Mom, I have a booger. Mom, I have a booger." Then, "Can I have a tissue, can I have a tissue?"

I must admit that I am extremely grateful for the tissue request, but rest assured, we already went through the boogers on the window phase
.
But, what happens with all of those lovely tissues? You got it - they end up on the floor of your car. And few things are worse than picking up someone else's used tissues. Especially when they are too young to conceal the pollution that was blown therein. SOLUTION:

Just in case you're driving by a sexy black wagon with a 5 year old's finger hanging out the window; booger dangling on end - that's us! Feel free to wave. Just one final word: I hope one doesn't flip on your car-because they are little buggers to clean off. :)

I AM AWARE THAT ELSE'S AND OLD'S ARE NOT EVEN WORDS - BUT MY BRAIN COULDN'T COME UP WITH PROPER SUBSTITUTIONS. THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

And He looks so innocent!

Warning to All Mothers: Do not allow teenagers passage to the following blog. Doing so, could result in profuse heartache, sleepless nights, and extreme anxiety for all parents involved.
Upon site arrival please look for the logo listed below:

and get ready to hear what the Beloved Spouse "was" before "we were".
Good Luck!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Where'd the Breast Milk Go?

So, I grew these darn teeth and nothing has been the same since. Everybody was saying, "Congratulations" and "Way to go buddy!" ... my final conclusion is: I am surrounded by crazy people.
They've started giving me odd shaped, colorful, sour tasting pieces of who knows what- for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
I started feeling more confident when they handed me an object that vaguely resembled the nourishment tools from my past ...
but could they be trusted? Hmmm...
NO, NO, NO THEY COULD NOT!
Gosh, why me? Where'd my breast milk go??

Friday, July 25, 2008

Silly moments...

Throughout all the craziness, these two brothers simply adore one another. The Baby laughs at all of Little C's various performances and even when all is quiet, you'll catch him staring at his brother adoringly.You know that high pitched squeal that all of us seem to think an infant longs to hear when coddling them... well Little C's is about 3 octaves higher... and stings the ear something fierce...and gosh, it's funny but kind of annoying, and I've wondered where could he have possibly learned this outrageous squeak? - and shoot the answer is me... I heard myself talking to the Baby the other day and I almost annoyed myself.


The question of the day is... why, with two big boys like this ... and probably with more to come sometime in our future... do relief society arms exist? You know - that hangy flappy under- arm skin that seems to sway from side to side without the slightest tip toe. LDS women should have the buffest arms in the business... I don't know about you, but I am feeling jipped!
Anyway - any suggestions to aid in the extermination of these foreign underarmed weight mongers would be greatly appreciated.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Yeah he knows he is CUTE!

Yeah, I know, you love me.
You have had enough stop looking...can't see me now! Ok. Wait for it...
There you go, one last look. I call this "BLUE STEEL."

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The BOYZ Rock!! By The Beloved Spouse

You know us boys like to have a little fun and I can't party alone, so here we are all done up to rock-out as the BOYZ groupies...
Here is Little C rocking out at his first showing...he really got into it!

Introducing the latest groupie, BaBy, with his rock out party doo!
"WHO DID THIS TO ME!?" (mom did it...ok it was me)

The mom comes home and our fun has to end! Every party has a pooper....OH, hmm... She really isn't a pooper we love her! She can join our party anytime and we are working on her. When we have success, and she joins, you will be the first to know.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

It's gonna be a long one folks...

Summer is delightful, but have you ever noticed that the combination of summer lounging and family vacations increases the intake of goodies dramatically?
I recently told my sister that I love her, but she needs to go back to AZ or else I am never going to be healthy again.
We have been partying it up since May - going here, there, and everywhere - to visit our long lost loved ones.
And aren't you lucky? You get to hear all about it!

(This picture really has nothing to do with anything - he's just too cute to leave out)

Oh yes, the vacations are kind of backward in order - well not kind of - they are. I thought I had everything organized perfectly - but twas not the case.

This last weekend we attended my great aunt and uncle's 80th birthday party. The sad thing is, I think they have more energy than I do. At this point in my life I am quite sure I can predict how incredibly boring I will be when I hit 80. So, I am letting everybody off the hook - don't worry about visiting me - But, my relatives are quite the opposite and we enjoyed them immensely.

This is the Baby with his Great Great Uncle Blaine.The Papa Macho being pushed on a swing by his little brother... I am sorry if my family looks funner than yours... we have a hard time hiding it from others. Go Daddy Go!

Sandy Point

Doesn't he make chubby look good? I couldn't stop taking pictures...
Our cousins from AZ... don't trust the smiles my friends... it's a decoy
This little cousin excelled at the art of sand eating.
My sisters... come back! I didn't mean what I said about never being able to eat healthy again! I have three older sisters - the blond is #2 and the brunette is #3. I'm the lucky duck who got to be the baby. The eldest sister missed out on all the chaos this summer... but next summer we are counting on her! Little C had it made. His cousins would row him all around the lake while he just threw his arms back and chilled.
"No, look at my finger, I am counting 1,2,3,4,5 rolls..." :)Isn't it fun to watch your siblings become parents? All of my sisters receive an A+ - what good mothers they are! And here is the Buckabu!
You can tell she's a grandma huh? She has the magic touch.


WE ARE MISSING PICTURES FROM OUR 4TH OF JULY FAMILY REUNION - I FORGOT MY CAMERA!

UTAH

In June we headed for Utah to meet up with this terrific side of the family. I officially became part of the family after learning CANASTA - now I am addicted! This is the Beloved Spouse's sister and her husband - what great hosts!
Grandma helping the grand kids in the swimming pool. Wipe Out!

She has the Grandma touch too! Our children are so blessed to have two terrific grandmas!

Our sister-in-law got us all tickets to go to the Bee's game! Little C and his cousin weren't quite sure what to do with the mascot. See they really are attractive individuals. This is the brother and sister-in-law whose faces we decorated earlier in the month. Oh yeah, sorry about that.
Little C's uncle helped run him around the bases after the game -
This is the Beloved Spouse with his baby brother. No, we didn't decorate his face - he is just thrilled to be in the picture!
Looks like we have a Bee's fan for life.

Against the grandma's approval - Little C was about to embark on the Mohawk haircut extraordinaire.
Oh he's so BAD!
Being proud of his creation - We'll still keep him I guess :)
...and it just wouldn't be a trip to Utah without visiting the Chiropractor...
Grandpa even worked on Little C's favorite puppy Sparky.
The Baby, being an excellent patient, didn't even cry. But with those two cute faces smiling down, who could?
Thanks Grandpa - we love you!
( don't look at the background patient - what is that face? Can we say Ug?)


The Big WA

Some of these photos are repeats - but we had such a fun time here that we just had to give ya more.
This trip was too short and didn't allow a whole lot of photo taking opportunities. But the company was supreme! Plus, these are great relatives to visit because they help you stay in excellent physical condition. We went running every night - up hills... yeah crazy... but wonderful! And in case you didn't know... my husband's still got it! He beat us all in an uphill race extravaganza. - I am not sure what that means - but it was a ball!
What a comfy home!
I would have taken more pictures of the kids but they always seemed to be dressed like this - and I am not sure why.
ARIZONA


I don't know about you, but my baggage is top of the line.
Little C loves vacations because he can play and play and play with his cousins.
This is the #3 sister holding our 1 yr old niece - what a darling pair!
The Papa Macho and the Buckster (oh she'll shoot me) joined us on this adventure. The grand kids were decorating Papa with flowers while he sang us some lovely tunes.
This one said she'd be my daughter and come live with us - but her parents declined -how rude!
We traveled to IKEA and Buckabu came prepared with candy necklaces for the car ride.

Oh, if it could always be this peaceful...
You'll notice the white dot on my niece's hair where she got clobbered by her brother's ice cream cone.
These two youngsters were exhausted by the end of the day.
Water Slide Time! But the baby was not amused.



And here's the little hostess herself! She's been doing this pose since 1982 -

Thanks everyone for all the summer fun thus far. We love you and miss you already!

Patton Family Pictures 2021

My soon to be daughter-in-law took our photos Fall of last year. Isn't she talented? We are looking forward to including her in our fami...