Imagine with me here for a moment:
A. Being asked to speak at the prison for their Sunday Service....
B. Assigned topic:
Being worthy to enter the temple - no matter the circumstance.
(big sigh) .... a daunting task.
But, I am up for a challenge, especially when it comes to public speaking - I'm the weirdo who enjoys that, especially when it comes to baring my soul about the gospel.
Plus, The Beloved and I were asked to speak together - and he is an amazing speaker plus my favorite person so...
game on.
When I sat down at my computer to find material nothing really felt right. I kept going back and forth from one general authority talk to another, pulling out my scriptures hoping to land upon the perfect information for our topic.
Usually, when scoring through the scriptures and other resources the layout easily begins to form in my mind.
Nothing was forming,
except for this recurring thought:
These people need to know they are loved.
They need to be reminded about where they came from, why they're here, and where they're going.
AKA: Plan of Happiness.
But that wasn't really my topic.
So,I ignored it.
I proceeded in preparing my talk to the best of my ability
(which was the problem)
and typed my layout on the computer to be printed off bright and early Sunday morning.
The Beloved was in the middle of finals and was locked in his art room so the time to compare notes never arrived.
Sunday morning I pop out of bed (that's a lie, I never pop)
Sunday morning I pop out of bed (that's a lie, I never pop)
open my laptop....
and
NOTHING HAPPENS - THE SCREEN IS BLACK -
EVEN THOUGH THE POWER IS ON.
I have no notes, no references, nothing.
I scramble to write down as much as possible but not a whole lot is formulating.
Some people cry in hard situations - I laugh.
I alternate laughing and praying for the next two hours as I get myself and the children ready for church.
The Beloved and I drop the kiddos off at our ward building where some friends will be taking care of them and continue our destination to the prison.
We are met there by some other LDS couples whose regular church callings are to assist at the prison during Sunday services.
I tell them I have nothing prepared because my computer died but I'm sure something great will happen.
They laugh nervously and look away. :)
The Beloved and I will speak twice, first at the women's prison and then at the men's.
At the beginning of both services I see inmates file in, nobody stands out in particular, just a mass of faded blue uniforms. I try to smile, then end up looking down, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach and the "what did they do to get here?" thoughts that keep surfacing my mind.
We have found out that a majority of the women attending the service aren't members. So, not only do I NOT have a talk but I have to stray from using "mormon lingo" so they can get a glimpse of what I am trying to share. (whatever that may be)
The service begins and I am introduced as the first speaker.
After the prayer I rise, head to the make-shift pulpit and,
smile.
And once again feel the overwhelming sensation that -
these people are loved.
So very loved.
Heavenly Father desperately wants to live with them again.
But, they must follow the commandments He has given, living clean and repentant lives. Starting now. Please start now.
Hmmm... similar requirements to being worthy to enter the temple, no matter the circumstance.
And my new talk, that the spirit was trying to share with me since preparation day #1, enters my mind.
So, I tell them how incredibly loved they are.
And everyone can feel it.
I remind them of the life we had before we came to Earth. How we knew our time on Earth would be hard but amazingly joyous and would build us into the sons and daughters Heavenly knew we could be.
We knew we would mess us a bit... maybe even a lot -
but that we could be forgiven, if we repent.
I remind them of our eldest brother, Jesus Christ, who sacrificed his life for everyone; providing us with a gift - to return to live with our Heavenly Father through repentance and obedience, if we so choose to open it.
I talk about my life.
How, I've been there - unfortunately, done that.
How I wasn't happy but pretty great a pretending to be so.
And I made a choice.
A humbling choice which led me to my knees and then to scheduling an appt with my bishop.
My repentance process was beginning whether my pride liked it or not.
It was lonely.
My "friends" decided not to be my friends anymore because I had changed too much. They worried I thought I was better than them and could hardly stand my presence.
I was a young single mother attending church all by myself but ironically felt nearly complete for the first time in a long time.
I had found myself.
The Beloved and I call this finding your "me" - a little zen like, but wonderful.
I would look in the mirror and think, here I am.
This is Me.
The "me" I found when I did things HIS way. Following His plan.
When I got my temple recommend I thought,
oh my gracious,
they're really going to let me in :).
And it was delicious.
I spoke about increasing our communication with our Heavenly Father -
how I pray 24/7. No joke.
It may get out of control a bit :).
I use the example of when I would pray constantly for Little C to be sealed in the temple to our family.
How this seemed impossible since his biological father has been telling me no for the last 5 years and his consent HAS to be given.
But, I tried to remain worthy of this blessing and prayed for it continually.
When I found out we would be moving to IL I arranged a meeting with Little C's father to discuss custody arrangements. We were just going to do this between the two of us, not involving the court system, and told him I would be prepared with a few different custody agreements.
As I was sitting at my computer, coming up with different schedules and such I kept having the thought to type up a permission form, agreeing for Little C to be sealed to our family.
Why?
He's said no sooooo many times.
But the thought was constant so I ended up typing something real fast, hurrying to get back to my original task.
The time came for our little meeting and Little C's father would not agree to ANY custody agreements.
He wanted more time. He needed time to think.
My argument - we don't have anymore time. We are moving in three weeks.
Still nothing... then a thought hits my mind.
I say to him, I will give you one more week if you agree to sign this other paper.
I slide over the form the spirit had been prompting me to make.
He reads it over and laughs.
Then asks, you're serious?
Completely.
After 30 minutes of staring at the paper he signs it.
A week before we move to Illinois Little C is sealed to our family -for time and all eternity.
If I hadn't prayed, been listening (maybe being elbowed) to the spirit, or been worthy at that moment to enter the temple -
we would have missed our opportunity to be sealed.
Wow.
I tell them the best way we can help our children return to live with our Heavenly Father is by our example.
I share the story about our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, when he was sitting at the front of a congregation during a conference he was attending. He looked over at the members and noticed a young boy looking at him, copying his every move. If President Monson crossed his legs, the little boys crossed his legs. If He rubbed his arm the little boy rubbed his arm... (this story is from my memory, not verbatim, but close)
President Monson started making a game out of it. The boy copying his every move.
The little boy thought this was so cool, he tugged on his dad's arm to show him what the prophet was doing. When the dad looked up, President Monson's attention turned back to the speaker, and with a smile on his face, pretended like nothing had happened. :)
President Monson's point in sharing all of this is that...
our little children are watching
our every move.
Closely.
It is our duty to be good examples to them.
I bore my testimony again about the truthfulness of the gospel.
Because,
it is true -
And sat down and waited for The Beloved to speak.
Since we hadn't compared notes I was amazed to find out that our talks were almost identical.
He also spoke about finding your "me" and how the only way to do this is through Christ.
The Beloved had obviously been more in tune with the spirit while preparing his talk and didn't have to have his computer stop working in order for him to pay attention. Good guy.
Since our talks were very identical he decided to focus on the importance of the atonement.
He shared an amazing analogy he used on his mission of Christ's sacrifice -
An epidemic was spreading across the earth and everyone everywhere was dying. The best scientists in the world were working night and day trying to formulate a serum, desperately trying to come up with the cure for this horrible deadly outbreak.
They start looking at different blood types, DNA that could possibly aid them in this resolution.
They come across one boy who may be able to help.
To save the world - you might say.
The doctors call his father and say, your sons blood contains the cure for this horrible out break. Can we take it?
The Father responds, Sure, of course! How much do you need?
The doctors slowly say,
All of it.
In order for this serum to work, we must take it all.
The Father is shocked and tells them he must think it over.
He presents his son with this massive request and his son softly replies,
Do it.
Take my blood.
So, the son's life is sacrificed and the disease is eliminated. Millions of lives are saved and the world rejoices.
A few weeks later they hold a memorial for this selfless boy who gave up his life to save all others.
The father is preparing for thousands to attend and is anticipating this great event.
The day of the memorial arrives,
but...
only a handful of people show up.
Everyone seems to have forgotten about this boy who died so they could live.
And the father is heartbroken.
The Beloved goes on to say,
the price has already been paid by our Saviour.
All we have to do is show up.
Live the commandments.
Repent.
Be worthy to enter the temple,
no matter the circumstance.
And we can return to live with our Father in Heaven again.
He loves you.
After the services were over The Beloved and I stopped seeing inmates dressed in faded blue uniforms.
We saw mothers, daughters, sisters.
Fathers, sons, and brothers.
They came up to us afterward and shared stories of their children, how when they get out they're going to be better parents and some even told us how they were planning on taking their families to the temple.
3 women asked if they could be baptized.
We have hope for them.
The spirit in those services was the strongest I have ever felt during a sacrament meeting in my entire life.
It was a testament to me
that our Heavenly Father truly does love all of us,
no matter the circumstance.
And He desperately desires all of us to return to live with Him again.
and
NOTHING HAPPENS - THE SCREEN IS BLACK -
EVEN THOUGH THE POWER IS ON.
I have no notes, no references, nothing.
I scramble to write down as much as possible but not a whole lot is formulating.
Some people cry in hard situations - I laugh.
I alternate laughing and praying for the next two hours as I get myself and the children ready for church.
The Beloved and I drop the kiddos off at our ward building where some friends will be taking care of them and continue our destination to the prison.
We are met there by some other LDS couples whose regular church callings are to assist at the prison during Sunday services.
I tell them I have nothing prepared because my computer died but I'm sure something great will happen.
They laugh nervously and look away. :)
The Beloved and I will speak twice, first at the women's prison and then at the men's.
At the beginning of both services I see inmates file in, nobody stands out in particular, just a mass of faded blue uniforms. I try to smile, then end up looking down, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach and the "what did they do to get here?" thoughts that keep surfacing my mind.
We have found out that a majority of the women attending the service aren't members. So, not only do I NOT have a talk but I have to stray from using "mormon lingo" so they can get a glimpse of what I am trying to share. (whatever that may be)
The service begins and I am introduced as the first speaker.
After the prayer I rise, head to the make-shift pulpit and,
smile.
And once again feel the overwhelming sensation that -
these people are loved.
So very loved.
Heavenly Father desperately wants to live with them again.
But, they must follow the commandments He has given, living clean and repentant lives. Starting now. Please start now.
Hmmm... similar requirements to being worthy to enter the temple, no matter the circumstance.
And my new talk, that the spirit was trying to share with me since preparation day #1, enters my mind.
So, I tell them how incredibly loved they are.
And everyone can feel it.
I remind them of the life we had before we came to Earth. How we knew our time on Earth would be hard but amazingly joyous and would build us into the sons and daughters Heavenly knew we could be.
We knew we would mess us a bit... maybe even a lot -
but that we could be forgiven, if we repent.
I remind them of our eldest brother, Jesus Christ, who sacrificed his life for everyone; providing us with a gift - to return to live with our Heavenly Father through repentance and obedience, if we so choose to open it.
I talk about my life.
How, I've been there - unfortunately, done that.
How I wasn't happy but pretty great a pretending to be so.
And I made a choice.
A humbling choice which led me to my knees and then to scheduling an appt with my bishop.
My repentance process was beginning whether my pride liked it or not.
It was lonely.
My "friends" decided not to be my friends anymore because I had changed too much. They worried I thought I was better than them and could hardly stand my presence.
I was a young single mother attending church all by myself but ironically felt nearly complete for the first time in a long time.
I had found myself.
The Beloved and I call this finding your "me" - a little zen like, but wonderful.
I would look in the mirror and think, here I am.
This is Me.
The "me" I found when I did things HIS way. Following His plan.
When I got my temple recommend I thought,
oh my gracious,
they're really going to let me in :).
And it was delicious.
I spoke about increasing our communication with our Heavenly Father -
how I pray 24/7. No joke.
It may get out of control a bit :).
I use the example of when I would pray constantly for Little C to be sealed in the temple to our family.
How this seemed impossible since his biological father has been telling me no for the last 5 years and his consent HAS to be given.
But, I tried to remain worthy of this blessing and prayed for it continually.
When I found out we would be moving to IL I arranged a meeting with Little C's father to discuss custody arrangements. We were just going to do this between the two of us, not involving the court system, and told him I would be prepared with a few different custody agreements.
As I was sitting at my computer, coming up with different schedules and such I kept having the thought to type up a permission form, agreeing for Little C to be sealed to our family.
Why?
He's said no sooooo many times.
But the thought was constant so I ended up typing something real fast, hurrying to get back to my original task.
The time came for our little meeting and Little C's father would not agree to ANY custody agreements.
He wanted more time. He needed time to think.
My argument - we don't have anymore time. We are moving in three weeks.
Still nothing... then a thought hits my mind.
I say to him, I will give you one more week if you agree to sign this other paper.
I slide over the form the spirit had been prompting me to make.
He reads it over and laughs.
Then asks, you're serious?
Completely.
After 30 minutes of staring at the paper he signs it.
A week before we move to Illinois Little C is sealed to our family -for time and all eternity.
If I hadn't prayed, been listening (maybe being elbowed) to the spirit, or been worthy at that moment to enter the temple -
we would have missed our opportunity to be sealed.
Wow.
I tell them the best way we can help our children return to live with our Heavenly Father is by our example.
I share the story about our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, when he was sitting at the front of a congregation during a conference he was attending. He looked over at the members and noticed a young boy looking at him, copying his every move. If President Monson crossed his legs, the little boys crossed his legs. If He rubbed his arm the little boy rubbed his arm... (this story is from my memory, not verbatim, but close)
President Monson started making a game out of it. The boy copying his every move.
The little boy thought this was so cool, he tugged on his dad's arm to show him what the prophet was doing. When the dad looked up, President Monson's attention turned back to the speaker, and with a smile on his face, pretended like nothing had happened. :)
President Monson's point in sharing all of this is that...
our little children are watching
our every move.
Closely.
It is our duty to be good examples to them.
I bore my testimony again about the truthfulness of the gospel.
Because,
it is true -
And sat down and waited for The Beloved to speak.
Since we hadn't compared notes I was amazed to find out that our talks were almost identical.
He also spoke about finding your "me" and how the only way to do this is through Christ.
The Beloved had obviously been more in tune with the spirit while preparing his talk and didn't have to have his computer stop working in order for him to pay attention. Good guy.
Since our talks were very identical he decided to focus on the importance of the atonement.
He shared an amazing analogy he used on his mission of Christ's sacrifice -
An epidemic was spreading across the earth and everyone everywhere was dying. The best scientists in the world were working night and day trying to formulate a serum, desperately trying to come up with the cure for this horrible deadly outbreak.
They start looking at different blood types, DNA that could possibly aid them in this resolution.
They come across one boy who may be able to help.
To save the world - you might say.
The doctors call his father and say, your sons blood contains the cure for this horrible out break. Can we take it?
The Father responds, Sure, of course! How much do you need?
The doctors slowly say,
All of it.
In order for this serum to work, we must take it all.
The Father is shocked and tells them he must think it over.
He presents his son with this massive request and his son softly replies,
Do it.
Take my blood.
So, the son's life is sacrificed and the disease is eliminated. Millions of lives are saved and the world rejoices.
A few weeks later they hold a memorial for this selfless boy who gave up his life to save all others.
The father is preparing for thousands to attend and is anticipating this great event.
The day of the memorial arrives,
but...
only a handful of people show up.
Everyone seems to have forgotten about this boy who died so they could live.
And the father is heartbroken.
The Beloved goes on to say,
the price has already been paid by our Saviour.
All we have to do is show up.
Live the commandments.
Repent.
Be worthy to enter the temple,
no matter the circumstance.
And we can return to live with our Father in Heaven again.
He loves you.
After the services were over The Beloved and I stopped seeing inmates dressed in faded blue uniforms.
We saw mothers, daughters, sisters.
Fathers, sons, and brothers.
They came up to us afterward and shared stories of their children, how when they get out they're going to be better parents and some even told us how they were planning on taking their families to the temple.
3 women asked if they could be baptized.
We have hope for them.
The spirit in those services was the strongest I have ever felt during a sacrament meeting in my entire life.
It was a testament to me
that our Heavenly Father truly does love all of us,
no matter the circumstance.
And He desperately desires all of us to return to live with Him again.
