So here are my thoughts as of today - or the occurrences thus far.
*My husband and I are in love with Jimmy Falon. Have you watched his show? Pretty much he's the most hilarious guy alive and I am pretty sure we'll be best friends with him soon -since the Beloved Spouse and I are tied for second in being the most hilarious people alive. And do you know why we're so outstandingly funny? Because we lead ridiculously humorous lives. For example - yesterday at the car wash all three of my children start screaming simultaneously. What could the cause be you say? Well, we have this lovely new golden van - but I, being too old school, couldn't figure out how to close the back windows. I don't even know how they were opened in the first place... so that thought being very far away from my mind when entering the car wash... resulted in my children receiving the $6 premium soak. Really, after the screaming stopped it wasn't that bad - think about the multi tasking involved - you wash the car, kid #1,2,and 3 - plus their clothes look good as new - it may be the best thing that ever happened to us.
Example #2 -On our first Sunday in this new great state we were 20 minutes late to church - which is so unusual for us...right right... - so having the tiny ward that we do, there was no over flow available - (I am still fasting and praying for that to change) - so we headed for the very front row. I think one day I'll do the cat walk as we're making our entrance - we already have everybodys attention, I might as well make it entertaining. Anyway - so as we meander to our seats we can feel the other attendees eyes checking out the "new family" - and right as we sit down our curly headed little fro boy lets out the loudest belch possible. Nobody laughs or makes a noise... except for my family. - Myself included. I am always hoping that one day I'll be mature enough not to laugh at body humor - but I feel that day is a long way off. Sorry mom.
Example #3 - The Beloved Spouse accidentally flushed his glasses down the toilet while going the bathroom - no further explanation should be needed. That's just funny.
Example #4 - After our new little addition was born the hospital baby photo place came in to take his newborn pictures. The photographer enters the room and starts talking. The Beloved Spouse and I glance at each other quickly - Photographer has the physique of a man, scruffy face like a man, women's clothing, long hair done up in a bow, makeup, and, if I may be blunt, a voice like a man whose pretending to be a woman. - I KNOW YOU HAVE ALL HAD EXPERIENCES LIKE THIS, SO DON'T PRETEND YOU HAVEN'T - "Her" name was Raven. She kept talking to the baby in the most peculiar voice that I am sure took a ton of effort. We call it MAN VOICE PRETENDING TO BE A WOMAN VOICE PRETENDING TO KNOW BABY TALK. And she kept saying, "Hey little fella, smile at Raven, do you have a little smile in there for Raven?" The wise Beloved Spouse avoided eye contact with me after that so we could kindly maintain our composure. But the bad part was...
A few minutes later the nurse came in to see if I had recently fed the baby and I said, "No, the photographer was here and HE just barely left." The nurse looked at me kind of funny - and then The Beloved Spouse said, "...You mean SHE...." long awkward pause throughout the room... and then the nurse exited- I didn't even know what to say - it honestly was such an accident... Open foot insert mouth Domestic Goddess in Training!
Those are all the examples for today... but just one other thought...
MICHAEL JACKSON -
Great musician, outstanding dancer.... very sad and odd that this pop icon has passed... - but I got excited when Entertainment Tonight said they were going to answer the question that was on every body's mind - but instead of telling me how to close my van windows they thought I cared about the true biological identity of Michael Jackson's children - ... quite frankly I am rather claustrophobic and feel a little relief that his children will be rid of the veils and disturbing feathery masks that are always adorned about them.
I am thankful for what he contributed to the music industry but as far as his personal life is concerned... one word comes to mind... weirdo. He was in the media lime light for over four decades - that has an affect on a man. No further research need be done.
Next post will be on avoiding the Mother's Lounge at church. There is nothing worse then meeting someone for the first time while your boob is hanging out... not a fan. :)
We were all tuckered out.
