What I do in Big Cities and Some Advice -

My mom told me a story once where she was at some women's church function and they were asked to share their most embarrassing story with the group.

One lady turned to her and said something like,

I don't know what to share. I don't have any embarrassing stories about myself.

What the?

My mother was sharing this story with me because -

WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RELATE TO THIS.

I am the Queen of Embarrassing.

It's one of my talents that I try, though unknowingly so, to develop to the best of my ability.

So we'll pull some out of the hat to share with you real quick.

Phoenix Airport 10/05/2011

When boarding the airplane from SLC to Phoenix I noticed that my zipper kept falling down. I kept trying to pull my pants up real high or not bend over too far so this issue would no longer be a hindrance but.... HA.... what a joke.

When we arrived in Phoenix we exited the airplane and went about layover business as usual. While getting onto one of those motorized walkways I could sense that my zipper had once again fallen down. 

But, something else seemed amiss as well. My pants felt like they had grown a couple inches longer.

Now, The Beloved was in front of me and he is a FAST walker. I always have to take two steps to his one in order to keep up.

So I quietly yell his name but he's focused on finding our next gate.

I try to wriggle up my pants a little more and zip them up nonchalantly when I figure out what the real problem is. My pants are not just unzipped, they are completely undone.

I don't know if you have ever tried keeping up with your speedy spouse while lugging your carry on, pulling up your zipper, and discreetly doing up the  top button of your pants,

while riding a seemingly endless motorized sidewalk.

I couldn't pull it off.

When he finally turned around to see what the hold up was, he kindly helped me find the first women's restroom available.

10/8/11

I bought this cute little dress for the wedding we attended while in NY.

Hurrah for shopping.

Happy Days are here again...

Until it comes time to feed the baby in a fancy NY restaurant, during the wedding dinner.

All you nursing mothers - tell me what the problem is.

It's not like I can just throw a blanket over my shoulder and go to town.

The Beloved suggests that I go to the bathroom and feed him in one of the stalls.

Good, great. So, I head that direction. I enter the bathroom and it is packed. Packed, packed, packed- with only two stalls in the whole joint. Feeding the baby in the bathroom is not an option. I walk back out to our dinner table and explain the issue. My father-in-law kindly asks the server if there is any room in the restaurant that is not in use for a nursing mother to use. He says no, suggests I do it at the table and then I explain why that is impossible. Then a light goes on in his head. He says, check with the maitre d' to see if you could use the coat closet near the bar.

My baby is starving, my chest is about to explode, this idea seems perfect. We get the go-ahead from the proper people and a hostess leads me to the closet. She then asks me a really odd question,

do you want me to turn the lights out?

No, no, that's okay.

I turn to watch her shut the door and realize it's only a half door. There's no top portion. Anyone walking by (and there are A Lot of people walking by) will be able to see in perfectly if I don't shut the light off.

So, I swallow my pride, turn the light off and sit down in the opposite direction of the door.

I cannot believe I am half naked, sitting in a dark coat closet, breastfeeding my sweet little child in a fancy NY restaurant.

Then I hear a familiar voice.

"Hey Dear. I'm here to be your body guard."

I look toward the door to see The Beloved's figure guarding the entry.

Oh, my hero.

And I am so thankful he was there! A few unknowing staff tried to enter my little mother's lounge, but all The Beloved had to mutter was the word,

breastfeeding,

and they had no qualms about leaving the premises.

Embarrassing moments frequent my life and I can totally handle that. I just constantly have that old song playing in my head that goes something like,

That's Life.

That's what all the people say.

I'm humming the tune to you right now because I know that is helpful . :)

See, two embarrassing moments all within one weeks time.

And now for the advice portion of this segment.

During the wedding,  one of the Bride's brothers was filming various guests and requesting marriage advice.

I said something random like,

Make out a lot and it's okay to go to bed angry.

Though, those are both good things I don't think it's the best advice ever to be given.

Not that what follows will be :) but I wanted to thoughtfully add my marriage advice.

* Service - serve your spouse. Baby them a little bit.

* Treat them like your best friend - because they are.

*Never fight about money.

*Don't do the list making. ex:

Oh, The Beloved didn't put away his shoes, or his

.laundry

.dirty clothes

.tooth brush

again.

He left all of the cupboard doors open and hasn't done the dishes since June. :)

I am using The Beloved as an example. Of course he would never do those things listed above. :)

And even if maybe he would, when your tempted to do the list making, instead

*make a list of the things you love about your spouse:

He is F.U.N.

He freakin' loves me.

He's hilarious.

He doesn't ever tell me how to change or what I'm doing wrong.

He's never belittled me or called me a name.

He tells me I'm a good mom and that I'm hot.

He's a super great Dad.

He is still my friend even if I drool and fart in my sleep.

He tells me he appreciates me and my hard work.

He is honest, kind, and loves his Heavenly Father.
At this very moment he is taking the shells off my pistachios and making me my very own pile of nuts to eat.

and the list could go on forever....

Advice continues rolling forward:

*Don't dog on your spouse to other people. Not cool.

*Remember to be the fun person your spouse fell in love with.

*Pray together.

And I'll still stick with:

*Make out a lot... and whatever else may come after.

*It's okay to go to bed angry - but don't forget to say I love you, even if it's angrily, before that head hits the pillow.

Don't you appreciate all of my knowledge :)?

P.S.

To all of you cartoon fans,

I feel like I have betrayed Max and Ruby and Thomas the Train.

I enjoy Max and Ruby - I really just have no idea where their parents are. That is how my brain works and I am trying to solve the mystery.

Obviously - I am not a fan in the least of Caillou.

My kids dig Thomas. I like it. I think it's a good, clean show. I am just wondering if there's an underlying rule about including the word cross 57 times throughout the episode.

I am a lover of words people. Using the word cross, though unusual and seldom heard these days is acceptable - but let's use some creativity here.

Tis all.

Life's Serious Cartoon Questions...

.....at least to a mother.

Question #1:

I am just throwing this out there -

but have you ever wondered,

Where the H are Max and Ruby's parents?

Makes NO sense to me.

Maybe things run a whole lot differently in the rabbit world.

Questions #2:

How many anti-depressants/pain meds do you think Caillou's mom is on?

Seriously.

Is he not the most annoying, whiny kid you have ever listened to in your life?

Question #3:

Who uses the word cross to describe a feeling of negativity anymore?

Only THOMAS -

on every single episode.

It bugs me.

Almost makes me cross.

:)

Wedding Photos

Photos of The Beloved's Brother's Wedding in Central Park -

In the Taxi:

Groom

Bride
Holding their Cute cute son

Walking through Central Park:

Bride's Father
Kindly pushing the children through Central Park

Bride's Mom



I'm too sexy for my cat..
(Song lyrics again:) .



Groom's Mother
aka Grandma

Groom's Father
aka Grandpa

View near ceremony site

Ceremony:

Exchanging vows

The Happy Couple:

 Family Photos:

The Groom hugging his mother... ahhhhh :)

Bride with some of her sisters -

Practicing smiling with our chins down. We heard it was more attractive that way.
 My mother-in-law pulled it off... me - well, not so much.

Why The Beloved is not in charge of taking pictures:

He starts taking booty shots.

But - HA!

I got a booty shot of him earlier on our little walk.

I like it. :)

Here we are -

Congratulations to the newlyweds!

My Kids -

Lou, in order to hide the evidence of his disobedience in not eating his hostess dingdong at the table but really in the hallway, tried to convince me that the chocolate leftovers found on the ground were something different entirely.

"Mom, it's not dingdong...

 Daddy pooped."

Very slowly I state, "Daddy did not poop in the hallway."

"Yes HE DID! Daddy - pooped."

Hmmm... not sure why I'm not going to believe that one :)

The other night I was sitting at the kitchen table with Lou and Ruckus. It started pouring outside and I turned to them and said,

"Do you hear the rain, guys?"

Lou says, "Rain Guy? What's a Rain Guy?"

"No, not Rain Guy. DO You? (pointing at them) Hear the Rain? (long pause) You Guys?

Lou - "I am not a Rain Guy."

Ruckus, shaking his head in agreement, "I'm not a Rain Guy either."

"No. Do you guys hear the rain outside?"

Lou, looking utterly confused- "I'm Lou."

Ruckus - "And I'm Ruckus."

"Oh Never mind."

:)

Oh my tender Little C  -who is currently torn between being his perfect, delightful, sensitive self and acting like a teenager.

The other night The Beloved put in the DVD, The Fifth Quarter, for Little C to watch.

Near the beginning one of the main characters passes away.

Little C was heartbroken and shut off the movie.

He came upstairs in tears and of course The Beloved and I both rushed to his side trying to figure out what was wrong.

After trying to console him, he continued to cry off and on the rest of the night worried that he and others he loved might go brain dead.  

I put my arm around his shoulders and said,

"Are you feeling a little emotional buddy?"

"No!" and then bawling, "What's emotional?"

Ohhh... little sweetheart.

Do you ever get lyrics stuck in your head and then state those sentences to your children at random? Nope?

Weird.

I always seem to have the opening lyrics to a Limp Bizkit song in my head. Which is super odd because I haven't listened to them in probably 7 yrs... but continuing on -

Little C was asking me about how he should start a letter to one of his friends in Illinois.

And I respond,

"You should say,

Yo, got Little C in the house. Fear factory action. Kick off this new joint here for all my homies." (Limp Bizkit lyrics my friends)

He replies slowly, "Yeah, that was really unusual Mom."

:)

I love laughter and a good sense of humor. I am so glad I am surrounded by these amazing little humans who entertain me day in and day out.

Thanks for the smiles, guys!

(p.s. that means you: Ruckus, Lou, and Little C... in case there was any confusion. )

New York 2011

The Beloved and I were able to escape from real life to do a little touring in NY and of course to also witness the marriage in Central Park of The Beloved's brother to his new little wifey.

We stayed in a fun little apt just a few blocks away from Time Square and the first night there The Beloved and I felt like true New Yorkers when we ordered food and had to buzz the delivery man in. We're growin' up :)

So do we look like tourists or what? I think there were a total of two babies in Manhattan - Ours and The Beloved's brother's. :)

Above is a collage of all the wonderful sites we were able to see during our grayline bus tour of NY. During the tour we also viewed various surrounding towns. I didn't take any pictures of Chinatown but The Beloved and I were shocked to find out that probably over half a million Chinese live in this tiny district that takes up only a couple of blocks. They reside in cramped spaces called sardine housing and the majority are illegal aliens. It was sad yet fascinating at the same time because it really felt like we had magically transferred through a portal to a foreign land.

Ground Zero.

The building at the top shows one of the new towers under construction. It will be a magnificent structure. The picture on the bottom right is a glimpse of the 9/11 memorial. You have to purchase passes to enter the site months in advance so we are viewing it from a window in the World Financial Center.

On the bottom left is a fence filled with tiles surrounding a mechanic's shop. After 9/11 children began placing their decorated tiles for the loved ones they'd lost in the fence. The owner of the business never took them down and if a tile falls off he replaces it.

9/11 was tragic and I felt a hole in my heart when it happened. I was angry and sad that our country was attacked and heartbroken for the poor families who had to endure the actual events. But it's a whole different story when you're actually there. I felt like I was treading on somebody elses business - gawking at their despair. I looked around at the employees working around the memorial and at the World Financial Center and realized that this was there life. This happened to them - it affected me - but it HAPPENED to them.

God Bless them.

How horrible would that be?

We found out on a tour that approximately 300 firefighters died that day; 60 of whom were not on duty. We walked by various fire stations and saw the memorials to the heroes who lives had been lost.

I knew this stuff before but to see it in real life was eye opening.

I love America. I wish we could always have that feeling of camaraderie and hope we resonated in the days following 9/11.

The Baby loved all of the lights, busy-ness, and attention. Above, he is completely absorbed watching a show in the Disney store. Below, he is shocked when I alarm him by saying his name and is brought back to real life outside of the television screen.

The Beloved's brother and his family in Time Square.

I took this picture of Tad's Steakhouse for my cousin and her family. You're famous!

On Friday we went on a cruise tour with The Beloved's parents. It was so beautiful to view Manhatten, Brooklyn, Queens, New Jersey, The Bronx, and Harlem atop the water.

Oh - my Lady Liberty! Isn't she beautiful?!

Below you'll also see Ellis Island, Grant's tomb, the tram (like in Spiderman :)), great views of the Empire State and Chrysler buildings, and the pier where, if I remember correctly, The Titanic was supposed to arrive but of course, never did.

On Saturday morning we had the opportunity to attend a session at the NY temple. I cannot describe the feeling of walking around a crazy, busy city and then the peace and reassurance that you feel when you look up and see the House of the Lord. The site seeing in NY was grand but truly felt like a distraction when compared to the tender spirit found in the temple. 

Meet the BEST BABY IN THE WORLD! I almost feel guilty - he was so so so so good. The smile you see on his face below made an appearance almost the whole journey, he slept on all of our flights and made parenting feel easy.

The Beloved at the Salt Lake airport feeling exhausted yet happy to be almost home.

Taking a quick nap at Grandma and Grandpa's before we make the drive home.

We loved bonding with this little monkey -

but were so delighted to return home to these little monkeys as well!

Thank you to my parents and dear friend Rami for watching over our munchins!

Next post will be -

The Wedding Photos!

How Fun! :)

P.S. It may take me a couple of days though because the downside to going on vacation is coming home to a full week of dirty laundry. Plus there is an impressive, nasty smell being unleashed from my fridge that I need to tackle. Loooove it!

:(