In Mourning

While pushing the stroller home, after dropping my boys off at school, a lady pruning her tree calls to me, "are you in mourning?"  Her question throws me off guard because that's exactly what I'm in. She lives close enough to the school that this is probably routine for her, observing parents who have just said farewell to their little ones for the next seven hours. Seven freaking hours! Ridiculous. And as I continue to awkwardly stare at her I think,  I miss them already. And even though the next 420 minutes of my life will be vastly easier my heart still feels a little empty, and easier doesn't necessarily mean better. At least for me.

My kids dig school though. Or they used to. We recently changed schools due to our move and we miss our little charter school something fierce. The teachers my friends - oh the teachers! - Gifts from heaven. Who loved my offspring and were passionate about learning. Ruckus and Lou's first grade teacher, Mrs. Gardner, passed away unexpectedly in July from a brain aneurysm. We felt this loss greatly. Mrs. Gardner encouraged my children to be curious and delighted with the world, always spotting a new discovery around the corner. When a friend in Lou's class moved to Singapore, Mrs. Gardner began teaching them about the life, culture, and history of Singapore. Their beloved peer became their new pen pal and Lou loved hearing about her experiences across the world. From the Iditarod to hatching chickens in the classroom - Mrs. Gardner was always anxiously feeding my boys with a love of learning. At her funeral her nephew shared a story Susan (Mrs. Gardner), would tell him every time they were together. He said when he was little Susan would join his family on road trips and she was typically the lucky one who sat near him in the back seat. On one trip he was gazing intently out the window for quite awhile. His aunt leaned over and finally whispered in his ear, "what are you looking at" to which his five year old self  responded, "I am searching for signs of autumn". Well, she loved that answer and began searching for signs with him. His point in sharing this story was that his aunt probably had a library of memories she could have retold him over the years that weren't as lovely. Stories that didn't make him feel quite so brilliant or intellectual. But, she never shared those. She deliberately chose a story that made this young man feel special and loved. She did this same thing for her students. I want to be like her. The last time I saw Mrs. Gardner I felt impressed to give her a hug (okay, not a hugger so this was a big deal) and told her how much we loved and appreciated her. I am so thankful I followed through on this prompting from our loving Heavenly Father.

She set the bar high. As did Miss Coles, their Kindergarten teacher. My children have been taught by angels. And as I'm stopped by this stranger working in her yard, I'm in the middle of hoping that their new teachers are angels as well. I'm wishing I could take the giant leap and home school all of them, but they would be sad. So, I finally reply,  "Yes, I'm in mourning, but am excited for freedom as well." She probably assumes I mean mine, which to an extent I do, but mostly I mean my children's. Their freedom to feel big and ride their bikes to school everyday, to make new friends, and to get hot lunch for the first time ever, to experience P.E. in a gym and check out a book from the school library. Our old little school didn't have most of these things. 

So lame-hole. That's my new word. It's lame-hole and lovely. Lame- hole that this is little C's last year in Middle school and that my kids are growing up so fast. But at the same time it's lovely and an honor to enjoy their developing personalities so much. It's lame-hole that it was Mrs. Gardner's time to go and lame-hole that we had to switch schools. But, I know with time, change can be lovely. So that's what I'm holding on to. 

Here are my babies on the FIRST DAY of school. Can you believe it? I actually took their pictures on time! And now I am at home with my two lovely ladies for the majority of the day until we pick up sweet Moo from AM Kindergarten. I love my humans! Here's to a lovely and very unlame-hole like year!

L-R
Ruckus, Moo, Lou

Little C

While the boys are away Sweetrotten spends her time mothering the baby. Here she is wiping off  her mouth.

My Girls

We're happy when Moo gets home!

Linda - Honey.

Our family is really loving this YouTube video. The Beloved and I have adopted the sayings, "Linda, look it" and "Linda, honey" whenever our children try to argue with us. It's pretty spectacular.

My Plate

         As I push on the brake for the upcoming light, I notice the construction sign outside the decades-old family restaurant. I read the words, “Primary Health Coming Soon” and am immediately bathed in warm feelings of vindication.  I am glad it is being torn down. The haunting memory I have every time I drive by, reminding me of my inadequacies and supposed failure as a mother, will soon be erased.

            Six years ago my husband received a job transfer, and my little family had just moved back to Boise from Illinois. For a few months he was required to travel back and forth between the work centers, which left the majority of the unpacking and parenting to yours truly. Also, with the imminent delivery of baby number four on the way, I was exhausted, sick, and had zero motivation to accomplish anything in life besides keeping my three darling sons alive. I had a lot on my plate. 

            My oldest son was striving to earn his Bobcat award in cub scouts, which began an hour after school let out, and I usually had to scurry to get him fed. On this particular day my dramatic hormonal brain couldn’t fathom the notion of travelling home to prepare a dinner I didn’t want to make nor eat, all while being surrounded by boxes begging to be unpacked. I instead decided upon dining at a restaurant I had frequented my whole life, Raedean’s. I felt relief at the thought. I was eager to sit and rest my weary body while soaking up the joys my children had to offer, grateful for the opportunity to pay someone else to serve me.  I needed a break.

 The meal was as soothing as I dreamed it would be. My three year old and one year old wiggled and giggled as they created toddler masterpieces on their paper menus.  My oldest son reviewed his scout book with me while I leaned back and soaked in the moment. My, how I loved my children.

            All of a sudden a disgusted finger was in my face, waving frantically. The appendage was attached to an elderly woman who appeared to be wearing an ill fitted gray wig. She was screaming out a torrent of passionate words and it took my brain a moment to comprehend that the vile speech storming from her mouth was directed at me. Once my ears remembered to listen this is what they heard, “You and your children ruined my entire meal! And not just mine. Everyone’s in the restaurant! You are a horrible mother, allowing your family to be so disruptive! In my day people took their children out of the room when they were being naughty. It’s not your fault though. I blame your actions on your parents. They raised you with this low class behavior. You and your children are exactly the reason why I am not voting in favor of the upcoming school bond. Why should I support someone raising juvenile delinquents?” Anytime I tried to get a word in edgewise she would thrust her powerful finger further toward my stunned face and declare, “Now you listen to me!” My cub scout loyally defended my honor throughout her sermon by stating repetitively, “It’s not true. Not true.”

            My endurance of her criticisms was my new eternity. She went on, and on, and on, demonizing me, my ancestry, and my posterity. My deepest fears and insecurities, which I had rarely shared with anyone, had now been validated to the whole world, or at least the entire population of Raedean’s. Maybe I really was failing at motherhood.

When the woman completed her tirade, and turned toward the exit, the only words I could muster were, “Thank you for your kind words.” Then I laid my head on the table and sobbed loud, ugly tears, embarrassed and paralyzed.  I had never been the target of such unkindness and harsh judgment. I was ashamed for not having jumped to the defense of my sweet babies.

As I was trying to compose myself, an angel of a woman, another diner, appeared at my side and said, “You didn’t bother us at all honey.” She then looked around the table, searching out the faces of my boys one by one, truly seeing them. “You have three boys. What a blessing. They are wonderful and you are doing a good job. Let me pay for your meal. Don’t worry about what she said.” She immediately took our bill and paid the amount due. I was a speechless, hiccupping, tears-streaming mess. I gathered my wounded family together and guided them to the car.

Once on the road, my children wanted me to turn our minivan around and give the fuming woman a piece of my mind, but I declined.  It made me sick to judge her plate in return. I didn’t know what was on it. This was the valuable lesson she had taught me during those moments on her superior soap box. Maybe she was sick, sad, exhausted, and all she had wanted was a peaceful meal at Raedean’s. But then her greatly anticipated moment had been rudely interrupted by the excited chatter of little children. Whatever my un-expert opinion may have been regarding her and her circumstances, I was determined to treat her plate with care.

Now, six years later, while gazing at the soon to be demolition site, I wonder how the angel woman, who paid for my meal, is doing. Is she blessing more plates? I want to be like her.  I worry about the hurtful elderly woman. Where will she eat now? I hope she finds a new diner to love, though I wish it be far from me. I earnestly pray she’s handling others’ plates with more empathy. I pray for myself to do the same. Then, I grab for my phone and snap a picture, capturing the memory I thought I wanted to forget.

Cast Your Vote for Virtue

            It is the summer of 2016, and American citizens are swimming tirelessly, desperately trying to stay afloat, while stuck in the current of determining who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election. Voters would be wise to follow the counsel of Hyrum Smith when he said, “. . . you are to vote for good men . . . to vote for wicked men, it would be a sin.” . Each individual voter should make virtue a primary criterion while evaluating the future leaders of America.

This republic was formed because righteous founders were at the helm. Cleon Skousen, an American conservative author and faith-based political theorist, shares the following idea in his book, “The Five Thousand Year Leap”, that virtuous leaders beget morally stable people. He then relays a quote from Benjamin Franklin that says, “Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom.”  Skousen tells a story of the early colonists who desperately wanted to form a republic, but fretted about their own personal goodness. They had lived under the aristocracy of European masters and were ready for self –government, but they believed a successful, free self-governing society could only stem from a people who had the capacity to live by a high moral code. By steadfastly following the examples of their honorable leaders, men defined by President Wilford Woodruff as, “the best spirits the God of heaven could find on the face of the earth . . . choice spirits … [who] were inspired of the Lord”, a moral reform swept across the nation and the vision of America began.

History is replete with examples of upright leaders bringing stability to a nation. Example one is King Cyrus of Persia. He was viewed as a noble man who had a desire to do the Lord’s will. In Isaiah 44:28 the Lord says of Cyrus, “He is my shepherd, and shall perform all my pleasure . . .”  He freed the captive Jews in Babylon and “established the largest empire of his time” through tolerance, diplomacy, and principle. 

In Alma we read about example number two, which involves the righteous transformation of King Lamoni.  His return to virtue blessed his people with liberty, religious freedom, and thousands of Lamanites were converted to the gospel. They left behind their murderous ways and covenanted with the Lord to lay down their weapons of war - forever. 

In the Book of Mormon we see peoples being “swept off” due to worldly leadership. King Noah was a Nephite and was raised by a righteous man but, “did not walk in the ways of his father”.  Therefore, “he did cause his people to commit sin”. King Noah’s own people burned him alive and were eventually taken into bondage by the Lamanites. We learn from Ether that, “this is a land which is choice above all other lands; wherefore he that doth possess it shall serve God or shall be swept off . . .” 

On November 8^th voters will elect the next president of the very land that God preserved for the righteous. Some patriots have expressed moral concerns regarding the various party nominees and have decided upon voting for the candidate who represents the lesser of two evils.  Elder Jorg Klebingat, a General Authority Seventy, said, “. . . choosing something bad over something worse is still choosing wrong.”  The United States of America’s liberty and freedoms are not secure when we settled for a leader that is only a little wicked. To thrive as a nation each individual voter should make virtue a primary criterion while evaluating the future leaders of America. No matter the cost. 

Sometimes Best Friends Marry Sisters

Did you know that The Beloved married his best friend's wife's sister? Yep, that mouthful is me! 

Our children are best pals too.

We love spending time with the Roundy family.

Picnic, football, and cuddling babies at the park:

L-R
Sweet-rotten, Lou, Ayla, Lou, Draven, and Ruckus

The Beloved and Jason -always doing important things. Like, inventing the baby head shelf.

Dads vs kids -

Moms cuddling babies:

Comforting sad Sweet-rotten after she fell off the picnic bench.
Poor thing. Why did I take a selfie? Weird.

Keeping my baby girl warm.

 Have you met my Shanny?

Love her.

Cheesin' it with Sweet-rotten.

Nurturing our new, sweet girl.

A delight.

 Plus, she's the guardian over those attempting to pee in public.

Some privacy over here please.

After the park Shannon and Jason treated us to ice cream at their favorite parlor.  

Best friends, Ayla and Moo.

My one and only adorable Ruckus!

Forever Pals, Lou and Draven.

We tease Jason and The Beloved that the only way they could be together forever was to marry sisters. 

Success Boys! 

Ya done good.

Washington Family

We went to these two little sweethearts home in honor of our nephew Hyrum's 14th birthday!

Angie and Joe - their twitter-patted-ness making me barf since 1990.
Just kidding. They're one of my favorite couples of all time.
I love them both mucho gusto!

We started out the festivities with a fire out in the cow pasture to roast our dinner over. This really is heaven to my heart.

The birthday boy grilling his hot dog.

Our chef of the family - The Beloved.

 Fellow party animals:

Brandon

Little C

Lou and Ruckus

Gwen

Sweet-rotten feeling alone without her minion.

Relief! There's her minion, Max.

Moo

Intermission for a quick basketball game between Little C and Hryum.

Happy Birthday sweet nephew. You are growing up to be an exceptional young man! 

Summer Kid/Family Fun Boise and Meridian

We can't fit them all in but we're sure going to try.

Here's the fun summer list we came up with:

Free

Hike Camel’s Back/Hull’s Gulch - Boise

Hike Table Rock - Boise

Swan Falls Park and Recreation Area – 45 minute drive

MK Nature Center – Boise Greenbelt

Play in the fountain at Ann Morrison Park

Play in the fountain near the Grove Hotel in Boise – Boise Centre 

on the Grove

Float the Boise River

Feed the ducks at a park

Anne Frank Human Rights Memorial – Greenbelt

Public Market at the Village – Sat 10-2

Capital City Public Market – 802 W. Bannock St. Boise Saturdays 

9:30-1:30

Meridian Youth Farmers Market (looking for vendors) – June 24^th 

– Sept 24^th 9-12 Meridian City Hall Plaza

Take a walk down Freak Alley - 210 N. 9^th St. Boise

Go geocaching

Fishing – Boise River, Settlers Park Pond, McDevitt Pond, Merrill 

Pond, Riverside Pond, Veteran’s Park Pond, Quinn’s Pond, Park 

Center Pond,  and Arrowrock Reservoir

Bruneau Sand Dunes State Park – near Mountain Home

Play disc golf at Ann Morrison Park

Kuna Caves – 1795 W. Deerflat Rd. Kuna

Free kids workshops - Lowe’s, Home Depot, and Michael’s

Go to a park or local school track and have family Olympics

Visit a retirement center and read stories or perform songs

Visit the library – so many great activities!!!!

Jump Creek – SW of Marsing

Kleiner Park Live Concert Series – Thursdays – pre-concert 5:30 – 

music begins 6:30

Outside Activities

Ivy Wild Pool in Boise – fun slides – 2250 S. Leadville Ave. Boise

Babby Farms (exotic animal petting zoo) – 5900 El Paso Rd, 

Caldwell, ID 83607

Paddle Boats at Julia Davis Park

Terrace Drive-In Theatre – 4011 S. Lake Ave Caldwell

Parma Motor Vu Drive-In Theatre – 29522 US 95 Parma

The World Center for Birds of Prey – children under 4 are free – 

5668 W. Flying Hawk Ln. Boise

Zoo Boise – get $1 off on Thursdays - 2 and under free

Botanical Gardens – 2355 Old Penitentiary Rd. Boise - 4 and under free

Indoor Activites

Cable One Movie Night @ Settlers Park – Fridays at dusk

Movies Under the Stars – various parks in Boise – Fridays @ 7 

with free games for kids. Movie begins at dusk.

$1 Summer Movie Express – Edwards 21 Theatres – Tuesdays @ 10

Overland Park Cinemas $1 Tuesdays

Attend a play – Boise Little Theater, Stage Coach Theater, Idaho 

Shakespeare Festival, Starlight Mountain Theater, Meridian Little 

Theater, and Treasure Valley Children’s Theater

Get ice cream in the Hyde Park Historic District – N. 13^th St. Boise

Kids Bowl Free – just pay for shoe rental – Big Al’s, Meridian 

Bowling Lanes, Pinz Bowling

Grinkers Grand Palace ($.25 arcade) – 228 E. Plaza St. Eagle

Aquarium of Boise – 64 N. Cole Rd. – 2 and under free

The Front Climbing Club – 3235 W. Chinden Blvd. – Kids climb 

free on Saturdays 10-2

Big Al’s $1 bowling games – Mondays 6 to close

Ice World – $5 Wednesdays 6:30-8:30

Givens Hot Springs – 11309-ID 78 Melba –

Museums – Basque Museum and Cultural Center, Idaho State 

Historical Museum, Discovery Center of Idaho, Idaho Military History Museum, Boise Depot, Warhawk Air Museum, and the Old Idaho Penitentiary

Nampa Rollerdrome – kidsskatefree.com - 19 10^th Ave. South in Nampa

From Home

Jump on the trampoline while a sprinkler is running underneath

Use sidewalk chalk to create art on your trampoline

Have a lemonade stand

Craft day

Baking day

Bake cookies for ice cream sandwiches

Make a summer family photo journal

Dance party

Go for a walk and then make a collage from nature objects you find along the way

Make Gak/Play-do

Make a music video

Board game day

Set up a bike wash to earn money

Spa day at home (do hair and nails)

Have a read-in (make a fort, cuddle up in blankets, grab some 

snacks, and read all day)

Set up a tent in the backyard for a family campout

Decorate brown paper bags and put on a puppet show

Make your own hard to pop bubbles with 1 cup of distilled water, 2 

tablespoons of Dawn dish soap, and 1 tablespoon of glycerin

Create unusual s’mores by experimenting with ingredients like 

bananas, cookies, and white chocolate

Collect rocks and paint them

Make a birdhouse out of Popsicle sticks

Illustory Make-a-book-kit - Write a book and have it published into an actual hardcover. $14 Amazon

Stage an A-Z scavenger hunt

Food

Summer Meal Program – June 8^th – Aug 5^th M-F 12:30 – Free for ages 1-18 Adult $3 - Desert Sage Elementary, Gateway Elementary, Chateau Park, Frontier Elementary, Lewis and Clark Middle, Fuller Park, Tully Park, and Storey Park

TCBY - Waffle Cone Wednesday ($1.49-$1.99)

Sonic - happy hour ½ price drinks 2-4 and ½ price shakes after 8 

p.m.

Applebees – Tuesdays kids eat for $.99 all day – limited to 4 kids per adult

McDonald’s – Tuesdays $1 off happy meals

Marie Callendar’s – Tuesdays and Saturdays kids eat free with purchase of adult meal

Rockies Diner – Mondays 1 free kid’s meal per adult entrée purchased. After 5 p.m.

Café Ole – Mondays kids eat free after 4:30 p.m. Limit 2 kids per adult entrée purchased.

Tucanos – Everyday children 5 and under eat free.

Black Bear Diner – Tuesdays receive one free kids meal per adult entrée purchased if a child brings in a teddy bear.

Louie’s Pizza and Italian Restaurant – Wednesdays kids eat for $.99 with the purchase of an adult entrée.

Denny’s Restaurant – Tuesdays kids eat free from 4-10 p.m. Two free kids meals per adult entrée.

Rumbi Island Grill – Kids eat free Monday and Tuesdays after 4 

p.m. One free kid meal per adult entrée purchased.

Johnny Carino’s – half price family platters on Monday night 4-11 p.m.

Food Trucks in the Park @ Settlers Park – Wednesdays evenings

I Believe in Naps

            “Wake me up when the light turns green,” my mom would say as she cruised to a stop at the red light and promptly shifted the car into park. This was my normal. I have a dedicated, loving mother who unfortunately fell asleep everywhere. During my piano lessons her head would fall back gently on the couch, smooshing up her blonde hair like a peacock, as she slumbered. Her red pen would then slip from her over worked fingers, landing atop the pile of college papers she was grading.

In the evenings, my mother would deliver glorious renditions of character’s voices while reading us bedtime stories. Dutifully, my older sister and I made sure to sit on either side of her, taking turns gently elbowing her awake when she began napping amid sentences.  Her voice pattern went something like this, “Mary had a little (voice would slur) lammmmbbbbb…,” head would bob down and then lights out. Being the offspring of this glorious woman, and having a pre-genetic disposition to be borderline narcoleptic, I believe in naps.

            Nap-less Cammy, mixed with visiting teaching, equals the “you’re-bound-to-fall-asleep” danger zone for me. When I find myself lounging comfortably on their soft couches, I instantly begin to feel the onslaught of my eyelids begging to close. Oh, and it aches something fierce. It’s one of those, “it’s not you, it’s me” scenarios, where I’m apologizing to these sweet women, trying to convince them they really are interesting, intriguing Daughters of God! I’m the one at fault for not being remarkable at the moment; AKA: super boring, but mostly sleepy.

            I’m what the National Sleep Foundation refers to as a, “planned” napper. They define this as, “… taking a nap before you actually get sleepy. You may use this technique when you know that you will be up later than your normal bed time or as a mechanism to ward off getting tired earlier.” I pencil in a time to snooze every day.  All this requires is a 20-30 minute catnap and the rewards are significant.

            Naps enable me to be recognized as the “nice mom” by my children, and not the “crazy, you –freak- me -out, sleep deprived mom”.  The National Sleep Foundation says napping improves, “mood, alertness, and performance.”  Resting allows me to be brilliantly awake during red lights, saves me from awkwardly getting lost in dreamland on the plush recliners of those I visit teach, and assists in my mostly conscious state while reading bedtime stories. I believe in naps.