In Mourning

While pushing the stroller home, after dropping my boys off at school, a lady pruning her tree calls to me, "are you in mourning?"  Her question throws me off guard because that's exactly what I'm in. She lives close enough to the school that this is probably routine for her, observing parents who have just said farewell to their little ones for the next seven hours. Seven freaking hours! Ridiculous. And as I continue to awkwardly stare at her I think,  I miss them already. And even though the next 420 minutes of my life will be vastly easier my heart still feels a little empty, and easier doesn't necessarily mean better. At least for me.

My kids dig school though. Or they used to. We recently changed schools due to our move and we miss our little charter school something fierce. The teachers my friends - oh the teachers! - Gifts from heaven. Who loved my offspring and were passionate about learning. Ruckus and Lou's first grade teacher, Mrs. Gardner, passed away unexpectedly in July from a brain aneurysm. We felt this loss greatly. Mrs. Gardner encouraged my children to be curious and delighted with the world, always spotting a new discovery around the corner. When a friend in Lou's class moved to Singapore, Mrs. Gardner began teaching them about the life, culture, and history of Singapore. Their beloved peer became their new pen pal and Lou loved hearing about her experiences across the world. From the Iditarod to hatching chickens in the classroom - Mrs. Gardner was always anxiously feeding my boys with a love of learning. At her funeral her nephew shared a story Susan (Mrs. Gardner), would tell him every time they were together. He said when he was little Susan would join his family on road trips and she was typically the lucky one who sat near him in the back seat. On one trip he was gazing intently out the window for quite awhile. His aunt leaned over and finally whispered in his ear, "what are you looking at" to which his five year old self  responded, "I am searching for signs of autumn". Well, she loved that answer and began searching for signs with him. His point in sharing this story was that his aunt probably had a library of memories she could have retold him over the years that weren't as lovely. Stories that didn't make him feel quite so brilliant or intellectual. But, she never shared those. She deliberately chose a story that made this young man feel special and loved. She did this same thing for her students. I want to be like her. The last time I saw Mrs. Gardner I felt impressed to give her a hug (okay, not a hugger so this was a big deal) and told her how much we loved and appreciated her. I am so thankful I followed through on this prompting from our loving Heavenly Father.

She set the bar high. As did Miss Coles, their Kindergarten teacher. My children have been taught by angels. And as I'm stopped by this stranger working in her yard, I'm in the middle of hoping that their new teachers are angels as well. I'm wishing I could take the giant leap and home school all of them, but they would be sad. So, I finally reply,  "Yes, I'm in mourning, but am excited for freedom as well." She probably assumes I mean mine, which to an extent I do, but mostly I mean my children's. Their freedom to feel big and ride their bikes to school everyday, to make new friends, and to get hot lunch for the first time ever, to experience P.E. in a gym and check out a book from the school library. Our old little school didn't have most of these things. 

So lame-hole. That's my new word. It's lame-hole and lovely. Lame- hole that this is little C's last year in Middle school and that my kids are growing up so fast. But at the same time it's lovely and an honor to enjoy their developing personalities so much. It's lame-hole that it was Mrs. Gardner's time to go and lame-hole that we had to switch schools. But, I know with time, change can be lovely. So that's what I'm holding on to. 

Here are my babies on the FIRST DAY of school. Can you believe it? I actually took their pictures on time! And now I am at home with my two lovely ladies for the majority of the day until we pick up sweet Moo from AM Kindergarten. I love my humans! Here's to a lovely and very unlame-hole like year!

L-R
Ruckus, Moo, Lou

Little C

While the boys are away Sweetrotten spends her time mothering the baby. Here she is wiping off  her mouth.

My Girls

We're happy when Moo gets home!