The Checker

I have a friend in IL who has a favorite cashier at every local grocer. No matter how long the line, she will wait patiently for her kind little checker to assist her.

I think she may be the smartest woman I know.

I have come to the conclusion that someone has secretly stuck an invisible badge on me, that only cashiers are capable of seeing, that states, ask her any dumb question you can think of within the confines of her family.

And this is where our story begins...

It was late.

About 10:30 p.m.

I thought it a safe time to venture out, into the night,

 for a quick shopping trip.

Just me and the baby.

No way I would be detected as the stressed out, stay at home mother, who...

HAS HER HANDS FULL.

... but then I was pleasantly reminded that, that wish is impossible.
And, that I am pretty sure it is a qualification for all cashiers to have a sixth sense in determining if you have a large quantity of children -and after that is established, to then proceed in asking you every question under the sun.
It's that or the invisible badge my friends.
Such a toss up...
So the questions roll in:
 (Remember this happened about a month or so ago)
Cashier (C) : You're out shopping pretty late.
Me: Yep.
C: How come?
Me: Sometimes it's just easier that way.
C: Is that your baby?
Me: Yep.
C: How old is he?
Me: About 6 weeks.
C: So you just had him huh?
Me: Yep.
C: You have more children?
Me: Yep.
C: How many?
Me: He has three older brothers (pointing at the baby).
C: Wow, that sucks. Crazy. Do you like them?
Me: They're pretty cool. Just not when we're grocery shopping.
C: Do you have a husband too?
Me: Yes, yes I do.
C: Wow. You are brave.

What the H just happened? Seriously?!
So, in my pretend, delicious response life that I dream about having, here is how my wonderfully sarcastic, lack of tact back at ya self would have responded:
C: You're out shopping late.
Me: Yep.
C: How come?
Me: Sometimes it's just easier that way.
C: Is that your baby?
Me: (Now I could say no, but then I wouldn't have the possibility of answering the next couple questions, so we'll stick with yes)
Yep.
C: How old is he?
Me: About six weeks.
C: So you just had him huh?
Me: No. No, it's been a year or so.
C: You have more children?
Me: Yep.
C: How many?
Me: He has three older brothers.
%%%%%%%% (Elder Patton remember this is your sign to read no further... and maybe yours too mom) %%%%%%
C:Wow. That sucks. Do you like them?
Me: Gosh no. I don't even know if they're mine. I'm still trying to figure out who the mother is.
C: Do you have a husband too?
Me: Well, I am glad you asked. The answer to your question is no. I am actually performing a study on how swiftly I can contract sypha-ghona-herpal-aids. It is coming along rather smashingly if I do say so myself.
C: Wow. You are brave.

Okay. I am sorry. That was SUPER naughty.
But honestly -
What the world?
I love my babies.
I love my husband.
And,
To all evil checkers of the Earth -
Be nice.
I really am a decent, married, STD free gal who believes in multiplying and replenishing the state of ID.
And though at times I may appear a bit mental due to extreme fatigue, you should be embracing me, because quite frankly my Pepsi addiction is probably supporting your livelihood.
Thanks.
Take Care.
Until we meet again. 

My Handsomes

The Baby

This little baby of ours is such an angel (except in the picture below :). He is constantly full of smiles and his curious eyes soak in all of the busy-ness around him without complaint.

He is such a blessing and we are so thankful for him.

All my Boys

It doesn't get much cuter than this, does it - :)

The Anxiety Which is Me -

Options - I could write about the tacky checker at the store or tell you what's really on my mind -

I vote for option B.

But I promise the tacky checker story will be my next post - because it is pretty amazing.

Do you ever get off the phone with people and think,

"I am the biggest retard"?

I do it all the time.

In face to face and telephone conversations.

Sometimes I simply have no idea what to say to people.

I think I get anxiety a little bit.

Or other times my brain feels so tired I can't even muster up anything semi-interesting to say.

I love people. I love hearing about their lives, getting to know them better... but unfortunately I have to be the one on the other side of the conversation  -

and I am a dork.

The problem with phone conversations isn't necessarily the content but the farewell.

Awkward.

I always get the laugh. You know, the laugh where you're not sure whose turn it is to talk but you're pretty sure you both want to get off the phone.

Not a fan of "the laugh".

When I speak to my sisters on the phone I usually end with -

love ya dog  -

or really other odd things like:

farewell to you

until we meet again

Shalom and good evening (no idea what shalom means)

love your guts

peace be with you

Not going to throw out those to the regular Joe.

So, I just got off the phone with my friend, who is also my visiting teacher, but it was definitely a visiting teaching call so I said something like, "Splendid, then we'll see you tomorrow. Thanks."

Totally got "the laugh".

Do people not say splendid anymore? Should I have spoken to her longer since she is my friend? No clue.

Plus, I always want people to know I enjoy them -

I think they're great! -

and I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

So at events I think I smile a little too much.

 I am pretty sure I get smile headaches  - no joke.

If you ever need any validation that you are a dork - there it is -

SMILE HEADACHE. Not normal.

And then after events I worry - worry, worry, worry.

Did I say Hi to everyone? Did everyone feel included? Did I offend anyone? Hopefully they'll forget about the stupid story my husband told about me, thinking Alaska was an island (long story) :). And so on and so on...

But I only worry for about a day and then am content to live the next little while in my cave.

Until I realize I need friends, because my cave is going to make me even more socially retarded then I already perceive myself to be.

Plus - everybody needs friends.

I always find it such a relief when I can come home to The Beloved.

No smile headaches.

No courtesy laughs.

He just likes me.

He's cool. :)

Anyway, there's one of my innermost desires - to stick Microsoft Word into my head so I can edit and then re-edit when getting to know people in real life or on the phone.

The End.

Love ya dog -

Farewell to you.

Love your guts.

Shalom and good evening.

You Know You Don't Feel Well -

When you fall asleep with a tissue in your nose.

Oh funny...

Sorry dear.

Are you Kidding Me?

Two things lately that have made me think -

You've got to be kidding -

First of all, Lady Gaga's comment this week on So You Think You Can Dance.

Her last comment of the night, after two phenomenal female dancers were finished performing an amazing number, was:

"I don’t know what sex you are. I don’t know what race you are. I don’t know where you're from, how much money you have, where you came from –all I know is that  was the future and that’s all that matters – you were  born this way."

How the world does that comment even apply to the moment? You were born this way? Are you trying to shove a message down our throats Lady Gaga? I am pretty sure they didn't come dancing out of their mother's wombs. But, maybe I'm wrong... We've all heard your song. We understand you have an opinion, (although I disagree with it) and maybe you were simply trying to impress my dear friend Ellen who was sitting in the audience (gotta love Ellen), but come on.

These are two beautiful, powerful, hardworking women.
One black and one white.
Who rocked it on the dance stage -
that's all.

I love equality and am all people embracing themselves and becoming better.
Just not Lady Gaga -
she makes me barf in my mouth a little bit.

Second thing:
I love, love, love my country and am so saddened by Her current economic state, the grand ol' debt - and corruption galore.

The other day when I was driving through the drive thru teller at my local financial institution, I stumbled upon this lovely statement posted by our dear FDIC:

"(Funds) Backed by the full faith and credit of the United States Government."

Oh crap America, we're doomed.

Missing -

The Beloved is great at a lot of things, but not necessarily at putting things back where they go -

All of a sudden I have had random things go missing around the house:

Jam, spoons, plates, hot chocolate mugs, Tabasco sauce, duvet cover, salt shaker, pots, vase, bowl, wooden spoon, glass, toy cars, books, lamp, candle, fruit, Pepsi... (never mess with the Pepsi) -

low and behold I found all of these items in his art cave.

Honey, if you're going to paint our belongings you really need to put them back where they go.

Thanks -

Love you.



Least Favorite...

Conversation of the Day -

Lou asks,

"Mom, the baby stinks! Why does he smell so bad!?"

I reply,

"Well, that's what happens when the baby's head gets puked on by Ruckus. It stinks."

How have your conversations gone today? :)

Blessing

Baby Blessing

Deciding not to be photogenic -:)

The Grandmas

4 generations

Guys in the fam who participated in the blessing -

my dad told one of them to grab a stool to make the height balanced. Our brother-in-law stood on the stool to prove that using a stool was a bit dramatic. :) Funny guys.

Me with two of my sisters

Look at this little chunko baby - we just love him.

Only 8 weeks old and he is sporting size 3 diapers. :)

The Beloved delivered a beautiful blessing for this little one. It was perfect yet daunting. It's always amazing to me to look at these newly arrived spirits and imagine the possibilities their lives have. They're so new, innocent, and perfect.

And this one is no different.

He's going to be amazing, in his own perfect little way.

I am so thankful for the priesthood and for all of the wonderful men who participated in the blessing.

So Far -

This Summer We've Been:

practicing being reverent after a naughty day at church

celebrating after "practicing being reverent" time is over

making messes with colored bubbles

(p.s. never buy colored bubbles)

chillin' with Grandma

feedin' the babe

being goofy

climbing too high in trees

looking adorable

getting haircuts

lovin' each other

and being exhausted by the end of the day.

I am so thankful for my family. Leaving Illinois was hard, harder than I anticipated, but so worth it to be near family.

We recently attended two family reunions, which for some reason I didn't brake out my camera for once, but I loved looking around and soaking in all of the wonderful people who I love. People who helped mold The Beloved and myself in our youth and who are still wonderful examples to us today. I loved seeing my cousins, getting to know their spouses and offspring better, and witnessing the wonderful parents they've become.  Plus they're just plain fun - and hilarious.

So again, I love my fam.

When I say that, I am including The Beloved's family as well.

A couple of weeks ago when we were there I loved visiting with his sisters, discussing our favorite reads, and then later sitting around the camp fire with the whole family debating over the concept of concubines. You never know which direction the conversation is headed, but that's the fun part.

I often receive so much service from my family I feel guilty.

Before I had the baby my mom and dad would show up almost everyday to help me with something around the house.

They would watch the kids while I went grocery shopping and would help drop Little C off at his various activities.

My eldest sister sacrificed her spring break to help me remove decades old wall paper and then paint a couple of bedrooms. Of course my parents couldn't stay away from that fun either. :) After all of their hard work they then took me out to lunch, arranged for my niece to watch the boys, and the three of them - my mom, dad, and sister - surprised me with a little baby shower while we ate delicious steak. I couldn't imagine better company to be in.

After the baby was born The Beloved took two weeks off of work and I rarely had to lift a finger.

My mother was around almost everyday helping with anything and everything and then the following week my mother-in-law came to help out even more.

I am so blessed to be surrounded with such loving and kind, service oriented people.

I know I get so sentimental and gushy -

And I promise at least once a day I am quite the selfish grump -

but amidst all of that I am quite aware of my Heavenly Father's tender mercies and I appreciate His goodness so very much.

Love Him -

I love birthdays.

I love surprises.

I love giving presents.

I want to make people know how wonderful they are - how glad I am that they were birthed :) - and how over joyed that they're in my life. 

This year I failed in The Beloved's department.

The Birthday Part: we of course left late to attend a family reunion so we were traveling the majority of the day to get there on time. Although the family reunion was amazing, I felt bad I didn't plan something additional to help The Beloved celebrate his big 3 2.

Luckily, after the festivities were over and the kids were put to bed, The Beloved's parents invited us down to their hotel room where they had a cake and party goers, The Beloved's siblings and their spouses, ready. The Beloved's mom had also purchased decorative streamers, but being unsure of how to hang them she opted to wrap The Beloved to his chair instead. So funny.

The Surprise Part: I made the mistake of taking the three year old b-day shopping with me.

When asked by The Beloved what Mommy had bought Daddy for his birthday - Lou, without any hesitation, responded, "A watch."

That response broke my little "love to surprise ya" heart. :(

The Present Part: Luckily, The Beloved doesn't care about surprises as much as his little mistress and was just pleased to receive the white watch he had been drooling over for the last couple of months :).

The Beloved's life is probably busier right now than ever.

He wakes up, goes to work, hangs out with his fam for about an hour, fulfills church responsibilities, and then does homework until about 2 a.m.

He's a good, hard working man and I am so impressed with his diligence in following through with all of his responsibilities. Including his responsibility of being a good father.

He loves, loves, loves his kids and there is almost nothing I enjoy more than watching him play with his children.

I am a lucky girl.

And just wait,

all you ladies will be jealous in just one second...

when you hear my b-day spoilage of the year -

The Beloved took half a day off of work to hang out with the kiddos while I spent

FOUR HOURS AT THE SPA -

OH WHAT?!

Oh the heavenliness of it all -

I had a massage, facial, manicure, and pedicure.

It felt like someone elses life, but what a delicious experience it was.

I know the below picture is Ug - but since life is so crazy busy, I didn't seem to have a snapshot of the two of us -

so I busted this one out real quick.

I love you dog.

Even when you pose with a licky face for my declaration of love post :).

Thanks for being wonderful and for being mine.

It's About Time -

So, I sat down to finally update this neglected blog with beautiful photos of our new baby's blessing day and discovered The Beloved has our memory card in his computer -
So instead we're going to chat about a few other things -
Like...
POOP.
I hate poop.
I hate throw up more -
 but I definitely still have the capacity in this brain of mine to have a very strong dislike for
POOP.
Here's a conversation that occurred about 5 minutes ago between Lou and Ruckus (Former Baby's new name -ruck·us
[ruhk-uhs] –noun
1. a noisy commotion; fracas; rumpus )
Fits him perfectly eh?
Anway, Lou and Ruckus were coming in from playing outside when  Ruckus turns to me and proclaims,
"Lou pooped."
Lou shushes him saying, "Shhh, don't say poop."
"Poop."
"DON'T SAY POOP!"
"Mom, Lou pooped."
I say, "Did you poop?"
"No."
Ruckus says,"Over there."
And points behind a tree.
I move toward the door and say to Ruckus,
"Show me where the poop is."
Meanwhile Lou is yelling,
"No, don't go, don't go. I hate poop. I hate poop."
Gosh, don't they know I hate poop too?
And sure enough, I am led by the younger sibling to the donation spot.
I don't understand it.
Lou hates pooping in the toilet - got it. - But doesn't it seem like such a grander effort to find a squating location and then have to secretly let one go?
A few months ago he pulled something similiar when I caught him sneaking out of his room.
I said, "Lou what are you doing?"
"Um, don't go in there."
So like any parents reaction I stormed into the room as quickly as possible.
Greeting me on Lou's Thomas the Train rug was one large brown specimen.
I said, "Lou, why did you poop on the floor?"
"I didn't poop on the floor, I pooped on Thomas."
Oh, Kid -
I should be thankful,
at least this last time he was house trained.