Options - I could write about the tacky checker at the store or tell you what's really on my mind -
I vote for option B.
But I promise the tacky checker story will be my next post - because it is pretty amazing.
Do you ever get off the phone with people and think,
"I am the biggest retard"?
I do it all the time.
In face to face and telephone conversations.
Sometimes I simply have no idea what to say to people.
I think I get anxiety a little bit.
Or other times my brain feels so tired I can't even muster up anything semi-interesting to say.
I love people. I love hearing about their lives, getting to know them better... but unfortunately I have to be the one on the other side of the conversation -
and I am a dork.
The problem with phone conversations isn't necessarily the content but the farewell.
Awkward.
I always get the laugh. You know, the laugh where you're not sure whose turn it is to talk but you're pretty sure you both want to get off the phone.
Not a fan of "the laugh".
When I speak to my sisters on the phone I usually end with -
love ya dog -
or really other odd things like:
farewell to you
until we meet again
Shalom and good evening (no idea what shalom means)
love your guts
peace be with you
Not going to throw out those to the regular Joe.
So, I just got off the phone with my friend, who is also my visiting teacher, but it was definitely a visiting teaching call so I said something like, "Splendid, then we'll see you tomorrow. Thanks."
Totally got "the laugh".
Do people not say splendid anymore? Should I have spoken to her longer since she is my friend? No clue.
Plus, I always want people to know I enjoy them -
I think they're great! -
and I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
So at events I think I smile a little too much.
I am pretty sure I get smile headaches - no joke.
If you ever need any validation that you are a dork - there it is -
SMILE HEADACHE. Not normal.
And then after events I worry - worry, worry, worry.
Did I say Hi to everyone? Did everyone feel included? Did I offend anyone? Hopefully they'll forget about the stupid story my husband told about me, thinking Alaska was an island (long story) :). And so on and so on...
But I only worry for about a day and then am content to live the next little while in my cave.
Until I realize I need friends, because my cave is going to make me even more socially retarded then I already perceive myself to be.
Plus - everybody needs friends.
I always find it such a relief when I can come home to The Beloved.
No smile headaches.
No courtesy laughs.
He just likes me.
He's cool. :)
Anyway, there's one of my innermost desires - to stick Microsoft Word into my head so I can edit and then re-edit when getting to know people in real life or on the phone.
The End.
Love ya dog -
Farewell to you.
Love your guts.
Shalom and good evening.
8 comments:
You are so amazing to write exactly how I feel. You are one of the coolest people I know. I'm aware that I have the dork of the century title hands down (have you looked at my clothes?) Yes I have had a smiling headache before. Sometimes I lay down at night and think of all the stupid things I have said. Not just that day, but like for the last 2 years. They linger in my head that long. My point is I'm so happy that one of these days you are going to come join me in my cave and we will hide out of the world together. Peace Out.
I was just about to write the same thing that the above comment wrote but she beat me.
Splendid is part of my daily vocabulary.
Gotta say, once again, that I love your blog. I also worry about what I said or who I didn't talk to after a social gathering. In fact, I worried about not having talked to you at the work picnic a few weeks back - smile. I usually end up avoiding people for a while until I start feeling too lonely. Thanks for being so open and honest - you are a breath of fresh air.
I feel the same way-- I'm so socially retarded :) -- it's a good thing I married Andy, he makes up for me :) I love how you write what you're thinking, and you say it better than I ever could!! We sure miss you & your family!
too funny, you make me smile. I really do just hide in my cave er, I mean home, so you are ahead of me!
Wait. Alaska is NOT an island???
If we ever get the chance to speak on the phone or in person will you PLEASE end it with "Farewell to you" or "Shalon and good evening". "Love your guts" would be great too. I have to say, I seriously die laughing whenever I read your posts and in a GOOD way! I always over examine my social interactions (get a load of that sentence) and you put it exactly the way I feel! Thanks!
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