For Real?

I heard him before I saw him. You know who I'm talking about, that one chatty person, out in public, talking to anybody and everybody on a day when you're feeling like a complete introvert. I usually don't mind someone who is friendly and can strike up a good conversation but sometimes I really do - and I hide from them. I promise it's one of those "it's me, not you" situations. Sometimes I cannot mentally handle having a conversation with people I do know, let alone people I don't. 

I had boarded the plane, chose a lovely window seat, closed my eyes and was sadly interrupted a few moments later when my ears sent off an alarm to my brain letting me know this Mr. Chatty was closing in - choosing to sit in the aisle seat right in my very row. Dang.

I did my best with my non-verbal communication; body turned away, head pointed toward the window, eyes closed, tried to appear as tired as I felt.... but nothing would stop this one. His opening line after we took off was:

"I am so happy and relieved a fat person didn't sit in between us."

Wait. Say What? Did he really just say what I think he just said?

"It can be so uncomfortable. I've been in situations before where their fat is spilling all over into my space. "

You've got to be kidding me.

I finally replied, "I bet they feel far more awkward and uncomfortable than you do." 

He then started declaring his love for fat people- in fact he himself had two fat sisters! 

Weirdest 3 minute conversation maybe ever. He basically remained quiet for the rest of the flight. 

I don't think this guy was necessarily a bad or mean man. Maybe he looked at me and felt safe sharing this completely discriminating thought or maybe he left his filter in TX? Maybe he can't handle silence and grasped for anything, being just as surprised as me to hear this remark flowing from his mouth? 

I don't know. People are basically good but we all have a little crazy.

Here's my crazy - 

Where the heck is the freaking toilet paper?

Oh, you mean I have to lean clear to my right, probably so both cheeks are no longer on the toilet seat (sorry mom) so I can take care of my business? Super convenient and awesome all at the same time.

P.S. I want you to know that I know my life really isn't all that hard and I truly am thankful for the availability of toilet paper, indoor plumbing and especially Kleenex wet wipes  - they're a game changer for sure.