Get Off My Back.

Who knew an act so kind could send me into a 5 minute depression last week?

As a fun, Fall surprise a friend brought my family over some delicious caramel apples.

Looking at them made my mouth water. 

I was so appreciative for the first 30 seconds and then I thought -

I suck.

I have never made caramel apples.

I haven't taken anyone over a Fall surprise....um, ever.

And then I started making up this huge list in my head why my friend was perfect and was I lacking E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.

Because I knew that if she could bust out caramel apples than she must be -

The perfect mom,

her house is spotless,

she's a scriptorian for sure.

If she can cook, she can craft,

and her brain must be huge and all powerful because she served a mission and graduated from college.

And I - am none of those things.

What the?

Where was all this garbage coming from?

How could such a lovely act of service send me into a wallowing hole of self pity?

Before this moment I really thought I was doing okay in life and now, all of a sudden, I suck?

Satan is so very cunning.

He used a moment of goodness to tempt me into being insecure and ashamed.

I had to slowly go through my thoughts and correct them one by one.

First off, I have never made caramel apples. Why - because I don't want to,

kind of sounds like death to me.

Second, my friend is awesome -

is her house spotless? I have no clue. I've only known her for about a month and I've never stepped foot into her house. 

Do I kind of want it to be messy?

Yes, once in awhile. :)

Does it matter if the glorious talents and accomplishments I've gifted to her in my head really exist?

Only if it makes her happy and brings her joy.

Do I suck?

About 5 days out of every month I may - PMS is a killer these days.

But, I'm good. 

I'm me.

I don't make caramel apples but I really appreciate my friends who do.

Some days I am such a great mother and then there are moments when "Mom's gonna lose it" protocol is enforced by my children. 

I can make some really outstanding meals.

Sometimes those meals are purchased at Burger King and Little Caesers.

 I am really great at buying crafting materials and having my sister Angie create them for me.

I am not a scriptorian but I love the scriptures.

I know my worth is great in the eyes of God.

P.S. My kids and I crafted little tithing cans together.

We had a really fun time.

Sometimes I rock.

Satan get off my back.