One Sunday in church we were playing a little get to know you game with the young women.

The first question asked appeared pretty simple,

what is your favorite animal?

The girls and other leaders went around the circle listing their many creature loves- from dogs to elephants.

I was the last to answer -

I may be ousted.... I'm quite certain I don't have a favorite animal. I used to think it was dogs and then I got some.....

and now, I know it's not.

You see, if I chose an elephant I have a overwhelming feeling it would show up at my door, want me to feed and nurture it and then clean up the large quantities of poop it excreted in my backyard.

I can't take care of anyone or anything else.

My plate is full.

Sorry animals. 

Kind of.

Around this time The Beloved had been sick for weeks.... flu, horrible cold then flu like symptoms again. He really was truly, truly ill. My heart hurt for him... at first, but then as the weeks went on I was feeling like - Come on! I need your help! I am taking care of so many people, including you. And then I would scold myself - He is sick. He feels horrible - buck up and take care of your man.

This internal argument went on for much too long.

I was tired.

When The Beloved wasn't lying in bed sick he was at work and as soon as he got home he was doing homework.

His plate probably felt entirely full as well.

The boys started soccer and baseball so my craziness schedule increased significantly. 

Here's an example of a Tues schedule -

Little C School at 8

Ruckus School at 9:30

Baby Doc Appt 10

Ruckus Home 11:30

Lunch

Lou School 12:30

Run Errands

Naps

3:30 Pick up Neighbor girl from school

4:00 Pick up Little C and Lou from School

4:30 Little C Baseball practice

5:30 Ruckus Soccer

6:15 Lou Soccer

Find a way to pick up Little C in between soccer schedule.

Eat Dinner

Bedtime

My desire to serve had hit zero and my capacity was depleting fast.

No way! - was I going to take care of a freaking elephant.

The following week I was preparing my lesson entitled, How can the Atonement help me during my trials? 

I was studying a talk by Elder Bednar where I came across this beautiful declaration:

"...the enabling power of the Atonement strengthens us to do and be good and to serve beyond our own individual desire and natural capacity."

Oh sweet, beautiful peace.

He is talking to me. This is about me.

Sweet, beautiful hope.

I was reminded once again that I don't have to do this alone.

For that, I am thankful.

The Beloved's body has also conquered his illness! Yes!

It's so nice to have him back - sorry I was secretly a turd in my mind about your ailments. :)

Plus  - now I can settle on a favorite animal.

But -

 I don't know if I care.

Words cannot express my gratitude for the atonement and for the direction of the spirit leading me to Elder Bednar's talk - such a tender mercy.

I am also thankful for the bit of R&R I pampered myself with during spring break!

Sorry kids - it was time for Mama to put her feet up.

The Baby joined the girls for relaxing pedis  and much needed chatting.

My wonderful friend Candice getting the cucumber treatment.
Heavenly.

Massages with one of my best pals - my sister Shanny.
This is the Before.

After.
Ahhhhhh - so much better!