1. The Beloved Spouse and I were talking the other day about lisps - (is that not normal or something:)) - why do they call a lisp a lisp in the first place? Can a person with a lisp even say lisp? I think we see a very possible law suit coming to light.:)
2. WHY A HOUSE NEEDS THREE BATHROOMS... the answer came quite suddenly to me one Sunday morning... I was in the middle of getting ready for church - I had just showered and entered the closet to put on my Sunday best... when I returned to the bathroom I ran smack in to the Beloved, bless his soul, who thinks now would be an opportune moment to spend quite a lengthy time in the lavatory. TO SOME COUPLES THIS MAY BE ACCEPTABLE - BUT FOLKS WE ARE NOT A BATHROOM COUPLE. I WILL FOREVER PRETEND THAT GIRLS DON'T POOP AND IF YOU THINK YOU HEAR ME TOOT - IGNORE IT - BECAUSE IT WASN'T ME. - unless I don't know you very well and there are only two of us hanging out - then I have to claim it because I hate knowing that the other person is thinking - The Domestic Goddess in Training just totally farted, I can't believe she farted - way too awkward for me... - anyway back to the story -So - I ran in to the Beloved and he gave me the "what am I supposed to do about it" look and I started complaining about how he does this every Sunday and if he'd only wake up half an hour earlier to relieve himself we wouldn't have this issue.... and then it dawned on me. WE HAVE THREE BATHROOMS. He doesn't have to disturb the boys who are taking a bath or postpone me from getting ready in our bathroom.
I feel truly blessed - Illinois is having more and more perks.
3. I read a great book entitled -
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - truly a refreshing read. A big thanks to my sisters for giving it to me for my birthday.
4. I read a retarded book entitled -
The Pig Did It - A big thanks to my sisters for giving it to me for my birthday - kidding - you didn't know therefore you are forgiven.
5. So this whole President Obama speaking to the children thing... whatever your opinion is... great -I am glad you have an opinion - but listen to this -
My sister received an op-out form from her child's school that read : Sign here if you would not like your child to hear President Obama's address on The Importance of Education.
How would you even dare sign it? YOU HORRIBLE PARENT YOU - Let me guilt you into not signing -gosh, it just made me laugh... great verbiage my friends - great verbiage.
That's all for now!
5 comments:
We're not a bathroom couple either...although Eric is the one that says "girls do not poop" (I just never say anything). He calls it "thinking". So, if I have to...you know, I tell him I need to go think (b/c he has to know what I'm doing of course). Anyway, what is it with guys spending so much time "thinking" anyway?
I love your random thoughts. Maybe I am just an a-hole but can't people work on their speech impediments? Seems more like a choice, again I am probably just an a hole. That's pretty funny about Obama. Oh and I grew up with 3 brothers, I fart all the time and will gladly claim it. Except for one time I farted in front of kami s. And she looked at me like I was disqusting so I lied!! Sorry Kami! I don't like going number 2 in front of Stephen and the other way around. There are some things that just shouldn't be shared.
I love farting in front of Ryan. The louder the better....although he has started telling me that it is inappropriate and we need to become more twitterpatted with each other like we were in the old days.! Bummer!
I loved this post. It made me laugh and I needed one today. Thank you for sharing your random hilarious thoughts. Although, I think it's a good thing your mother rarely reads your blog (I think) because she is definitely not the kind of person that thinks talking about bodily fluids is an appropriate topic for discussion. On the other hand, your Aunt Jill thinks it's hilarious. Thanks again for the laugh.
That is sooo funny about the "bathroom" thing. Alex does the EXACT SAME THING! (well, he did before he got his calling, now he has to go to meetings all morning) Anyway, he was always jumping in the shower while I was in the middle of getting ready! It was so annoying.
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