Goodbye Grandpa.

It is hard to put into words how I feel, but I want to express my love and appreciation for one of my biggest cheerleaders, whom I lost from this world. On March 31st, I not only lost a grandpa, but a friend, a college roommate, a confidant, and a groupie. During one of the most challenging and rewarding times in my life I had the pleasure of living with him. He was one of the loudest fans cheering in my corner as I went through some tough trials. After living with him we shared a very special bond, a bond that carried over to my wife and children. I enjoyed seeing my children spend time with him and enjoy the natural bond they were born into. 

His faith, love, and support has influenced my life, my family, and my future. He helped cultivate spiritual seeds in my life and he helped guide me to the testimony I enjoy today. He was known for his booming voice, but I witnessed tender and teary nudges that only few ever saw. I love him and look forward to the time I can see him again. 

He liked to see me run but really only if I would win. Recently, he wanted to watch me run a 10K and I told him it was a long run not like what I did years ago. He said he didn’t mind and that he'd wait at the finish line for when I won. I told him that I don’t win these races. He then asked why I even ran them; and honestly that is a great question, Grandpa. Point is that I’m

still in this race and I will meet you at the finish line when I win! Love you Grandpa. - Jed

Little Grandpa, do you remember how you got that funny name? When Little C and I married into the family he knew he had two new Patton grandpas, but one was big and one was small. So he deemed you Little Grandpa and your son was Big Grandpa.

Here are some things I will cherish about you forever:

1. Your love for you chi machine. It could fix any ailment.

2. Your love for my babies. Big and small. You forever made each one feel like a mighty treasure.

3. Your willingness to be my grandpa. I hadn't had one in a while. I hadn't had any grandparents actually in a long, long time. Thank you for filling that role beyond measure.

4.Every time I saw you, you would say, "Jed's my boy." And you were happy that he had found a "good one".

5.You cried almost every time we pulled out of the driveway because your posterity was one of your two very favorite things.

6.But your first favorite thing was the gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you for belting out hymns with that beautiful, southern, off-tune voice. It was music to my soul.

7.My last conversation with you I said, "Grandpa, I love your blue tie, it really makes your eyes pop." And your 94 year old self said, "That's the idea.":)

Thank you for being a constant in our lives. Thanks for letting Jed be your boy.

Love you, Little Grandpa - Cammy

Sweetrotten wearing Little Grandpa's hat and jacket.

Another one of Grandpa's hat models. 

Helping with fire works.

We Didn't Know Our Lives Were Filled With Luxury.

Today as I watched the crushed ice fall from the soda fountain machine into my 32 oz Maverick cup I thought, "This is a luxury." And then as I loaded it with some beautiful Coca Cola Classic carbonation I wondered if this was the last time I'd do this for awhile.Who knows? 

The beginning of last week I wasn't really paying attention to the Coronavirus and now it dictates my life. 

Comfort. That is what I'm used to. When I turn the handle on the faucet I expect water to flow, and not only that, I expect to navigate the temperature. 

I'm used to sending my children off to school and my husband off to work in the mornings, to my kid's weekly extra-curricular activities, to my big Costco grocery shopping trips every two weeks, to nightly (okay, every other, or maybe every other, other "nightly") workouts at the gym, to really whatever the heck I want. 

I'm used to not giving a second thought to toilet paper, and I'm used to not eyeballing the stockpile of Liahona, Friend, and Ensign magazines up in here that I hope we never have to resort to (tip from my nephew serving a mission in Ecuador. Thanks, bud.) 

A luxury - something that is of great comfort, ease, or wealth. Something that may not be necessary.

Like getting my hair done.

Or the new granite counter-tops I got two weeks ago.

Or the laminate ones I was so happy to get rid of. 

The beginning of last week I promised my daughter we would eat at McDonald's this week - INSIDE - so she could enjoy every inch of that playground. I hate McDonald's (except for their Coke because its yummy, yummness), but I hate even more that I didn't realize what a luxury taking my daughter to play inside McDonald's was.

I am now trying to soak up every luxury my current life has to offer. Day to day. 

When I do the dishes and turn my dishwasher on I say a prayer of gratitude. I am so blessed to have a dishwasher. I am so blessed to have food to dirty those dishes.

When what felt like my 57th load of laundry you better believe I said a prayer of gratitude for my washer and my dryer instead of cursing my mounds of laundry. I am blessed to have a healthy family and I am thankful they are with me, in this life, in my home, dirtying clothes. Though I did still yell at them to put their dang clothes in the hamper because - come on.

And when I flush that toilet I give a BIG hallelujah for indoor plumbing!!

I love group text messages and that The Beloved and I could connect with the Patton Fam after the earthquake today.

When I directed my children in their schooling today I was so thankful for modern day technology. For my children's incredible brains and adaptability. I felt an immense appreciation for all of their different teacher's hard work. They have done an incredible job providing lesson plans and guidance during this fictional-like circumstance. 

As my children started out their day in Google Classroom, I listened to video after video (I've got a lot of kids, yo) of teachers expressing their love, empathy, and reassurance to my people. Sweetrotten's teacher even recorded herself doing calming exercises. Gosh, she's a keeper.  

These are all luxuries. 

Today my sister, Erin, surprised my parents, my siblings, and I with a group call on FB Messenger. It was such a luxury to see my dad's ear fill up the whole section of his screen because he couldn't hear us well and didn't really get the whole camera thing. It was such a luxury to see my sisters' beautiful, comforting faces amidst my dad's ear. Gosh, it was the best. I wish I had taken a screenshot of this perfect memory before my parents hung up. I did luckily capture a few moments of the rest of us chatting afterward.

The best luxury is to know, with assurance, that Heavenly Father has a plan. That Jesus Christ is our Savior, and that He 100% has our backs. 

What a luxury it is to pray.

To have faith.

To have one another.

For funny Coronavirus Memes.

And to have the Holy Ghost be our comforter.

God Bless you All!! 

My Year of Napping

I've got to admit it. I'm tired. Like every moment bone.breaking.tired. The other day I heard the first year of a baby's life referred to as "the year of napping." Isn't that spot on for most? You try to fit in 10 minute naps throughout the day, and 3 hour naps off and on throughout the night and then when your baby sleeps for four hours straight, one of the other six is dependably going to rouse you from your napping - so a year of napping it remains. Sometimes I cry in the morning for like 10 minutes after my night of napping, and then I put my game face on because that's the best option. And really, crying is a sweet release. (Dear Mother, I am not depressed or unhappy, I am just tired after only being a quarter into my year of napping. I think you had 36 years of napping for different reasons, so you get it, right?)
Throughout this year of napping it would be lovely if my dear offspring were the most obedient, peaceful, whine-free creatures on the planet, but they remain human, so tis not so. Fortunately, this upset in my life has helped me relate to Moses like never before.(I know that was not the segue you were expecting.) I had a laugh out loud moment the other day when reading Numbers 11. At this time Moses is feeling irritated and exhausted by the complaints littering the Children of Israel's mouths. Moses is pleading for help from the Lord and in verse 14 says, "I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me." Which sounds really heavy and horrible, but I started laughing and said, "Amen, Brother. Amen." But then I noticed the more import part. My new comrade had gone to the Lord with his problem, his worry, his exhaustion and his faith. In verse 16 the Lord then blessed Moses with 70 men to help prophesy and bear the burden of the people.
It is okay and normal to feel overwhelmed by what's on our plates, especially during the year of napping. But what a beautiful reminder Numbers 11 was for me to take my troubles to the Lord and then wait in faith for my burden to eventually be lifted. Plus, I'll count my blessings that my year of napping isn't 40 years of napping/wandering like the Children of Israel.

Where Ya Been?

I've been with child, yo. And it's so nice not to be with child anymore. This baby. This baby is perfect and exceptional in every single way. From head to toe perfection. I love him such an infinite amount - I also LOVE that he is out of my body. 

I lose myself when I'm pregnant. Not in a depressed way, just a- maybe no one should talk to me way - because I'm probably super irritated by your existence. Isn't that horrible? And really, that's not my natural personality. I love people and I genuinely like most people. But basically everybody I meet for the first time when I'm pregnant is a dingus. And ain't nobody got time for a dingus. I switched hair dressers like three different times when I was pregnant because I was sure they weren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

Shoot... so there's the confession.

Aren't you glad I got my tubes tied so you don't have to see my pregnant self again and wonder what's swarming around in this head? Gosh, it's bad. 

I'm super blunt when I'm prego too. Like there's no beating around the bush. And I don't really make excuses for anyone, not even myself. When one of my sisters tried to make me feel better about gaining forty pounds this pregnancy by saying things like, "Well, some really tiny people just gain a lot of weight when they're pregnant. Or women that have had previous babies just gain weight faster..." and lots of other nice things to make me feel good, I said, "I'm pretty sure it's the box of ding dongs I hid in my freezer that I wouldn't share with anyone that got me into this state. Or maybe it's because I eat first and second breakfast, and then first and second lunch?" Ha! 

Also, things that once brought me joy don't when I'm pregnant. Like writing. I would think, "Man, I really need to blog." And then I would honestly feel like throwing up. It's the weirdest. 

And people in love! Oh, it's the worst. Don't be gushy, lovey, or touchy in front of me when I'm pregnant. In my head I'm like, "That's not love! Being married for fourteen years with seven kids! That's love. Shaving your husband's butt after he has a cyst removed - that's love!" I'm a freaking nut job my friends. 

It's hard for me to feel the Spirit when I'm pregnant and I hate that the most. 

After our baby was born it was so nice to feel like me again. It was so nice to feel the Spirit, to feel kind, to feel more nurturing, and to feel way, way less bugged at the world.  I looked at The Beloved and said, "I love you so, so much. And I love that I can say that now without throwing up." That was a hard one to explain to him afterward. 

Anyway, hopefully I'll get our fun little blog up to date soon! 

Here are some cute pictures of our perfect human over these last three months! 

Look - Ruckus is wearing my robe. If this doesn't make sense to you read the previous post. :)