Little C's B-Day

Little C,

You've been fifteen for almost six months and this post is being written closer to your next birthday than your last. But let's not think about you being sixteen quite yet. That gives me a small anxiety attack. 

Not that you being fifteen doesn't bring on a small one as well. Every year you get older the closer you get to leaving and that's hard for my mom heart to handle. I just like you so much. Everyone warned us about the teenage years, but you haven't made it hard in the typical ways. I keep telling The Beloved that we should be thankful for your little slip ups because one day we may have a teenager that makes way big mistakes and we'll be missing these easier days. 

Your birthday was on a Sunday this year and it happened days before we moved to UT so we were still living with Buckabu and Papa. The Saturday night before your birthday Sister Moody (your best friend Dallin's mom) threw a party for you. She invited all of the Miamaids and Teachers from the ward and spoiled you with pizza, homemade desserts, and love. Moving away from the Moody's was rough. They're like the most outgoing, the most fun family in the world, and they treated you like one of their own. We will always be thankful for their dependable love and support.

On your actual birthday we serenaded you with birthday songs and showered you with gifts. You received two tickets to go to a Jazz vs. Rockets game (which you were kind of like - I hate the Rockets, but it's still cool. P.S.You were happier at Christmas with your Jazz vs. Warriors tickets :) and hoodies. For your birthday breakfast all you wanted was lumpy mush which is the simplest request. Thanks for making it so easy. I like to tease your younger siblings that Little C is my favorite to cook for on his birthday - Lumpy mush for breakfast, PB&J for lunch, and macaroni and cheese for dinner. Perfecto!

In the evening you went and hung out with your dad where you were spoiled some more. You are so blessed to have so many people that love you!

...I'm still not sure why we had to move away from so many of them.

It was a hard decision to make and an easy one at the same time. Easy because the spirit so strongly confirmed to us (The Beloved and I) that this was the right course, and hard because I knew it broke your heart. You had amazing friends, you were doing well in school, you were doting on a girl at school who doted right back (even though that's blah to the blah), and you were happy. Parents love to see their children happy. 

I look forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for you here. I think there may have been some kids in UT who needed you. Kids that were friendless, that needed a dependable basketball buddy and friend. I think maybe your siblings needed you more too. Since our move your relationships with them have strengthened and they know you better.You are a strong young man and are filled with goodness. Parents still say the same thing to me that they did when you were little, "He's a good kid."

You have a strong relationship with your Papa. When we lived there he woke up early almost every morning to take you to school. Not because he had to but because he wanted to. From the day you were born he's been concerned about your welfare and has taken it upon himself to be your guardian and teacher. During one of your basketball games this season he suggested to the ref that one of his calls was poor. Papa wasn't even yelling, but the ref was on a rampage and had already kicked out one grandpa from the stands, and so after Papa's remarks he kicked him out as well. You ran to Papa's defense and tried to convince the ref to reverse his call, but to no avail. The ref then proclaimed the game was over 3 minutes early. It was a crazy uproar, but Papa was more concerned afterward that he hadn't been a good example to you, and placed no blame on the ref. He loves you so much. He calls you Carson the Kid, Kid Carson, or sometimes just The Kid. You guys are pals.

You received your recommend to receive your patriarchal blessing last Sunday. You arranged with the patriarch for the actual blessing to take place August 12th. This is my anniversary and your righteous desires are the perfect gift. Thank you for this. 

Thanks for sharing my love of basketball even if you don't let me talk when the Warriors are down. Like, for real, no one can speak, and if we do the look of death shuts us up real quickly. Thanks for not loving Lebron. I think you know that would be too much for my soul and thank you for believing in me when I say Michael Jordan is the best player of all time. You do believe me, right? ;)

I love you and enjoy you so much Little C! I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father knew I needed you!

Love, 

Mom  

At the Moody's

Lumpy mush birthday breakfast.

Your sweatshirt from Buckabu and Papa.

We freaking love you! Happy Birthday!

Photos that I love - and that I'm sure you'll be happy I posted. 

Wearing your little brother's dress up glasses from his doctor case. You're hilarious!

Hard at work.

You were anti-haircut for a minute -

And that's when this awesome ponytail exposed itself.

Doing your favorite thing - having a Fortnight Party with your friends.

Jazz vs. Warriors

First day of your freshman year at Rocky.

At another Jazz game. 

Here's a video of you riding the coaster down our steep, steep hill in Ut. 

Terrifying.

Are You Willing to Gather?

This morning as I was driving Little C to basketball camp I asked 

him if he had chosen to follow President Nelson’s counsel to have a 

seven-day social media fast. He replied, “Yep, I deleted Snapchat 

and Instagram last night.”

My mom heart sang a little song.

There is no better gift a mother can receive than having her child

obediently follow the counsel of the Lord.

 His friend in the back seat said, “I deleted mine last night too and

then when I went to click on the icons this morning, out of habit, 

there was nothing there. That was weird.”

I then asked, “So, what did you do instead?”

He said, “I read my scriptures.”

What??!!!! That’s incredible!! My mom heart (FYI-my mom heart 

umbrellas all children) performed another  song and maybe did

a jig, while my outward appearance played it cool. 

Little C told his friend he was a good boy! Haha. J

I love these young people.

What a powerful invitation from President Nelson – inviting the 

youth of the world to enlist in the Battalion of the Lord to help 

gather Israel. He called it the greatest cause on Earth.

He challenged them to:

  

     1. Have a seven day fast from social media

     2. Make a weekly sacrifice to the Lord for three weeks

     3. Keep on the covenant path

     4. Pray daily for all to receive the blessings of the gospel

     5. Stand Out. Be Different. Be a Light.

   These cool kids will begin this great work by refining themselves 

first. And maybe a social media fast feels like the destroyer of 

teenage life, but hopefully they’ll find comfort in the scripture, 

“The son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save 

them.”  (Luke 9:56) Everything is going to be okay. But the great 

thing is these faithful teenagers already know that.

In John 7:17, “If any man will do His will, he shall know of the 

doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.”

The youth are doing His will by following the prophet, 

the mouthpiece of God. As they fast from social media and as they 

make a weekly sacrifice to God, like replacing a golf game with a 

little family history work (Pres. Nelson's example), they will find 

opportunities to live the gospel more fully. They will learn the 

doctrine as they live it.

By challenge three they’re set up perfectly to stay on the covenant 

path. In Mark 9:43 it reads, “And if thy hand offend thee, cut it 

off…” The first two challenges have prepared these young minds 

for some serious self-reflection and by the third challenge they’re 

already on the path of determining which bad habits they need to 

cut off. Habits that may not be horrible, but habits that offend and 

prohibit their potential in life. Habits that stop them from being the 

best that they can be, and habits that they can now replace with 

better ones.

Then, in challenge four, there’s a commitment that arises. A 

commitment to pray to the Lord everyday for all to

receive the blessings of the gospel. Their focus has shifted from 

inward to outward.

And now -They’re ready To Gather. To Be Different. To Stand Out. And To Be a Light.

Because They know Him a little Better. They are His sheep.

And they are invested in gathering all of His sheep.

“And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, 

and the sheep follow him: for they know His voice.” (John 10:4)

So, I guess this means peace out social media, for seven days at 

least! I’m going to follow the example of one of my favorite 

people - my kid who’s been my kid the longest – Little C.

Doubt is Good, "They Say"

I've noticed a growing trend within Mormon culture preaching that doubt is good.

A few years ago, while attending a Relief Society Meeting in D.C., I sat there and listened as another visitor, a young girl from BYU-I, explained the benefits of the Wheel of Doubt. She said that doubt pushes us forward. It makes us search and grow, and moves us toward understanding the gospel more fully. Once we've arrived at this new understanding a new doubt may appear, circling us closer toward Christ.

I think their was an audible cheer from the small sea of women in attendance, and even some clapping in support of her Wheel of Doubt message.

I, on the other hand, just felt sick.

This week, after studying the book of Matthew for my New Testament class, I had to post some of my thoughts on a Discussion Board. I posted the following:

He Can Work Miracles if We Let Him

It saddens me to read the stories of Christ when He is not accepted by those who should have known Him best. It saddens me to see His own countrymen’s lack of faith - the effect which prohibited miracles from blessing their lives. In Matt 13:58 we read, “And He did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.”

This chapter also is loaded with their doubtful questions, “Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not His mother called Mary? And His brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us?” These aren’t questions asked in faith, accompanied by a hope that the Lord will respond. These are questions of disbelief and disregard for the Lord’s Anointed Son, which must have broken His heart.  

All of this begs the following – Am I allowing Him to work miracles in my life? Do I trust Him? Which doubtful questions are littering my mind, hindering Him from blessing me?

A fellow student gave a thoughtful response, telling me that doubt is good and we shouldn't be afraid of it. She told me doubt is healthy and can essentially bring us closer to Christ.

Again, this message of doubt.

And I thought, isn't it faith that brings us closer to Christ?

I worried that there was something I was missing. If people, really good people, kept encouraging me to doubt, were they right?

I couldn't remember one story in the scriptures, not one in all of the Standard Works, that highlighted doubt as desirable. I scoured through the Index, Topical Guide, and Bible Dictionary looking for one instance where doubt was applauded and beneficial. I couldn't find it.

Here's what I did find though:

Matt 21:21 - Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

1 Tim 2:8-I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.

Romans 14:1 - Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.

Mormon 9:27 - Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him.

Ether 3:19 - And because of the knowledge of this man he could not be kept from beholding within the veil; and he saw the finger of Jesus, which, when he saw, he fell with fear; for he knew that it was the finger of the Lord; and he had faith no longer, for he knew, nothing doubting.

Alma 56:47 - Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

1 Nephi 4:3 -  Now behold ye know that this is true; and ye also know that an angel hath spoken unto you; wherefore can ye doubt? Let us go up; the Lord is able to deliver us, even as our fathers, and to destroy Laban, even as the Egyptians.

D&C 6:36 - Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

Okay, let me clarify. Do I think doubt is real? Yes. Does it happen to the best of us? Yes. If you find yourself doubting, should you seek out answers through the best books for comfort, peace, and direction? Yes. Is it okay to let people know that you're doubting and having a hard time? Absolutely. Should we look down on ourselves and others for doubting? No. But should it be a red flag? Yes.

Elder Uchtdorf, an apostle of the Lord, said, 

"Some might ask, “But what about my doubts?”

It’s natural to have questions—the acorn of honest inquiry has often sprouted and matured into a great oak of understanding. There are few members of the Church who, at one time or another, have not wrestled with serious or sensitive questions. One of the purposes of the Church is to nurture and cultivate the seed of faith—even in the sometimes sandy soil of doubt and uncertainty. Faith is to hope for things which are not seen but which are true."

He doesn't say doubt is good, or healthy, or something to be encouraged. He says, it happens. And then he talks about cultivating it with a seed of faith. 

Can we learn from doubt? I'm sure. But it's a lot harder that way.

I wonder if our culture is getting doubt confused with simply asking good.questions.in.faith.? If you compare the word doubt to the word inquire in the scriptures the results are quite different.

Don't be afraid to inquire of the Lord. Questions are good. 

Psalms 24:4 - One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.

Zeph 1:6 - And them that are turned back from the Lord; and those that have not sought the Lord, nor inquired for him.

1 Peter 1:10 - Of which salvation the prophets have inquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the grace that should come unto you:

1 Nephi 15:3 - For he truly spake many great things unto them, which were hard to be understood, save a man should inquire of the Lord; and they being hard in their hearts, therefore they did not look unto the Lord as they ought.

1 Nephi 15:8 - And I said unto them: Have ye inquired of the Lord?

1 Nephi 16:24 -And it came to pass that he did inquire of the Lord, for they had humbled themselves because of my words; for I did say many things unto them in the energy of my soul.
 

Alma 27:7 - And Ammon said: I will go and inquire of the Lord, and if he say unto us, go down unto our brethren, will ye go?

Jacob 2:11 - Wherefore, I must tell you the truth according to the plainness of the word of God. For behold, as I inquired of the Lord, thus came the word unto me, saying: Jacob, get thou up into the temple on the morrow, and declare the word which I shall give thee unto this people.

Alma 40:3 -  But I show unto you one thing which I have inquired diligently of God that I might know—that is concerning the resurrection. 

Moroni 8:7- For immediately after I had learned these things of you I inquired of the Lord concerning the matter.

Moses 1:18 - And again Moses said: I will not cease to call upon God, I have other things to inquire of him: for his glory has been upon me, wherefore I can judge between him and thee. Depart hence, Satan.

Ether 1:38 - And it came to pass that Jared spake again unto his brother, saying: Go and inquire of the Lord whether he will drive us out of the land, and if he will drive us out of the land, cry unto him whither we shall go. And who knoweth but the Lord will carry us forth into a land which is choice above all the earth? And if it so be, let us be faithful unto the Lord, that we may receive it for our inheritance.

D& 6:11- And if thou wilt inquire, thou shalt know mysteries which are great and marvelous; therefore thou shalt exercise thy gift, that thou mayest find out mysteries, that thou mayest bring many to the knowledge of the truth, yea, convince them of the error of their ways.

D& 6:14 -  Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.

JS -H - 1:18 - My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the Personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right (for at this time it had never entered into my heart that all were wrong)—and which I should join.

I know, scripture overload. I can't help myself.

Believing is Good. Faith is Good. Inquiring of the Lord is Good. And doubt sometimes happens.

But, ditch the wheel of doubt.

And sometimes when the questions don't get answered remember this:

Mosiah 4:9-  Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.