Christmas

The Lord's Design

Moving to Utah- Martin Harris

9/7/17 Nephi building the ship

Pleasing God and not man

*Turns out better when working with Deity

* Harder consequences when trying to please man over God Acts 12:2-3  8/25

*Don't be the affliction

Happy 8th Birthday! Many Moons Ago.

Wearing the towel you begged for, for your birthday. :)

Dear Ruckus,

Eight is great! And you make one fantastic eight year old! Your day started out with birthday waffles and opening one present (an alligator towel-robe) before you left for school. You can be seen modeling your birthday attire above. So cute.

In the middle of the day I picked you up from school so you could have two teeth pulled. Yikes. Not a fun way to spend your birthday, but you were a trooper. Plus the roots on those teeth were very impressive! 

You attended scouts for the first time on the evening of your birthday. Papa sent you off in style with all the proper scouting gear. We had a quick little party before your departure with Buckabu and Papa, and we made sure to fit in time to test out the cool remote control car that drives on the wall from Grandma and Grandpa. 

Dad was travelling on your birthday so we took you shopping and out to dinner the night before. You picked out those red jogger pants and the shirt you're wearing in these pictures.  You're all about the jogger pants. If jeans are even mentioned as an option you're not thrilled. And that's putting it mildly my little friend. You love to be comfortable and I support that. I'm all about the comfort too. 

On our parent/son date you requested to go to Texas Roadhouse because steak is your fave. Again, a boy after my own heart. Being carnivores in our sweats is my kind of party. 

You've recently discovered your love for country music. Dad and I attended a Garth Brooks concert last month and in preparation for that I decided to put in some old country cds. I of course started out with the legend himself, but then moved on to Tim McGraw. When "Don't Take the Girl" came on you were captivated. Your mind took you somewhere far away - to that place where music touches the soul. I remember feeling that same way the first time I heard it. We've been bonding over country music ever since (much to Lou's dismay who wasn't captivated in the least).

Last year in school you were put in a special art class for the gifted and talented. You love to create and can spend hours doing it. The other day you mentioned how you wanted to speak up in class about something but you were in the middle of an art project and you said, "Mom, you know how I get when I do art. I'm sucked in." You really are talented and it's fun to watch you listen intently as Dad teaches you a few tricks of the trade.

You've born your testimony three times since you've turned eight which is a brave, big deal. Each time you've carefully written down what you're going to say and then have boldly declared it over the pulpit. Afterward, when you're returning to you seat, your big, bright smile touches both of your ears...and almost your eyes. We love hearing about what you know and believe. Never be afraid to believe in what you know, and never stop declaring it. 

We went on a tour of the Meridian temple recently and you held Sweetrotten's hand the whole time, carefully guiding her through. You are a loving older brother to your little sisters, and I can tell you're going to be an excellent father one day.

You are a cuddle bug and I love that you'll still hold my hand and sit on my lap. Your school has a Parent/Subway day during lunch once in awhile and the last time I attended this with you, you sat on my lap the whole time, content to be with your mom. It made me feel good. I love you buddy.

You are super bright and are still my secret learner. I'm continuously impressed by how much you soak in and by your recall of information. What a great mind you've been blessed with.

Take care of that mind. Put only the best things in it. Use it to bless people's lives and do good. 

You're a choice blessing in my life sweet Ruckus. 

Much Love,

Mom

Birthday breakfast waffles.

See the car on the wall?

Little C is the birthday entertainment.

Hugging Papa.

Buckabu interpreting her cursive.

Ready for scouts.

With gauze in his mouth.

Texas Roadhouse dinner.

"We're Friendly, but We're Not Friends."

"Jesus said love everyone; treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you."

I feel like this song is my inner anthem. I genuinely enjoy most people. To discover an individuals unique blueprint like what makes them tick, what makes them sad, and what makes them glad is a journey that fills my heart. I love people.

I just struggle with one tiny problem: 

Before that journey begins, I want nothing to do with it. 

How can I love everyone and treat them kindly too when I don't want to get to know them in the first place?

That investment of time sucks energy away from my spirited yet introvert soul.  I leave most social encounters drained and then wait for the guaranteed vulnerability hangover to set in. I begin to worry about if I offended someone, if others felt included, if I talked too much, if, if, if, if...... and then decide that if I would have stayed home I wouldn't be suffering from this ridiculous, mind riddling anxiety.   

Loving others. Becoming Friends. Takes work.

And sometimes I'm too selfish for that. 

The other night we went out to dinner at Chuck-a-rama  (and hey, don't dog on Chuck-a-rama. It's a child's heaven. Unlimited slushies, hot chocolate, ice cream, brownies, pizza - we're all about paying for that dose of unhealthy) and as Lou was piling up his plate with wonderful delectables he recognized an old friend from Kindergarten. He ran to my side and said, "Mom, I think I just saw Zoey. Should I say something?" I told him it was his choice. He sat back down at the other end of the table and  his request basically vanished from my mind. A little while later he approached me and asked, "Will you come with me to make sure it's her?" I obliged and a few minutes later he had reintroduced himself to her. Zoey kind of acted like she remembered him, I said hi to the mom, it was awkward, and then we sat back down. I turned to Lou and said, "Well, that was awkward." To which he replied, "Yes, but I'm so glad we did it. Now I don't have to worry about whether or not I should have said hi. I did my part."

He did his part. 

Wow.

Not for himself, but for Zoey. 

Lou wanted her to feel recognized and loved. 

I realized this boy I'm raising is not a person who will hide from people he recognizes in the grocery store like his mother does. (Please say you do that too.) This is a boy who is willing to love no matter how awkward or how much anxiety he feels before or after. 

Recently I attended a Time Out for Women where author,  Zandra Vranes, said these words regarding sisters in the LDS church, "We're friendly, but we're not friends." And I knew this woman was talking to me. I get an A+ at friendly, but I'm lousy at seeking out friendships. Not gonna lie, once we are friends I'm pretty amazing ;) but it takes me awhile to get there. 

The evening before Zandra's remarks I had watched her and her friend Tamu sway their arms in the air as they soaked in the music from the band, City of Enoch. I loved them from a distance and thought, "I want to be their friend." The next day Zandra, an African American woman, shared how she felt alone in her mostly white ward (not verbatim). She didn't blame her fellow sisters though, she blamed herself. She said she was inauthentic. She was friendly, but not seeking out friends. She was me. And then she went on to say that the way to remedy this is love. Our motive must be love. That same motive that drove Lou to say hi to Zoey. This idea is not complicated, yet, "because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there are many who perish." Now, I'm not saying you're going to die. You're not. Well you are, but I'm not sure when and it has nothing to do with this message. What I do believe though is there's a part of us that perishes when we're unwilling to love. We forfeit a part that may have been filled with the joy of loving another, serving another, feeling empathy for another, defending another, laughing with another, or being blessed by another. 

Can I just tell you this is why I love being a visiting teacher? Being a visiting teacher makes me love and pushes me out of my comfort zone. Many eternal friendships have formed because of the women I've been blessed to visit teach.

About a month ago I went out to lunch with two dear friends, my old visiting teaching partner and a woman we visit taught. I call them, "My Cindys". I grew up with their children and one used to be my young women's leader. On paper it may appear that our lives are too different to be close friends, but "on paper" things are lame and that's not how the Lord works. I love them immensely.

I have two gems that I visit teach now. Their situations in life couldn't be more opposite from one another or from me, but they are incredible. Damahr and Emily. Both of their eyes shine with goodness and light. We are friends. True friends - who were brought together through visiting teaching. 

It's that simple. 

Unfortunately, sometimes the easiness of the way distracts us.

And if you hate visiting teaching I'm sorry if you're throwing up right now, but it's blessed my life. Heavenly Father knows Cammy needs friends. And that sometimes Cammy is selfish and won't get out of her comfort zone unless she's called to do so. He knows that she's super friendly, but unfortunately sometimes she's not ready to be a friend. He also knows she's ready to be done speaking in the third person. 

I want to be more like Lou. I want my motive to always be love. I don't only want to be friendly, I want to be a friend. And maybe that begins with visiting teaching? But one day I want the words to the song: "Jesus said love everyone; treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you," to not only feel like my personal anthem but to become my reality as well. 

P.S. Click here if you're super confused about what visiting teaching is. ;)

Zandra and Tamu

Representing the Savior

Sweet Ruckus,

Hey buddy! Look how great you look all dressed in white! This was a big day, a day you took very seriously. It may be surprising to some that you're a contemplative guy. Dad and I have called you our "secret learner" since you were a toddler because to the outside world you're Mr. Social Busy Body, but on the inside you're absorbing everything. That great brain of yours is constantly filing away mounds of information. Weeks before your baptism took place we took a few times as a family to discuss the baptismal covenant and the gift of the Holy Ghost. Your big, searching eyes soaked it all in. You're just the coolest.

As your mother I want you to know that I have experienced the blessings that come from taking upon myself the name of Jesus Christ. I cannot express how much I love Him. And the Holy Ghost?! Freaking amazing. A few months back during my Relief Society class the teacher asked, "What words come to mind when thinking of the Holy Ghost?" And my exact thoughts were, "Freaking amazing." I didn't share those thoughts. Probably I need to come up with a more reverent declaration, but I know that He is real. He is a true gift that is readily available as long as we receive Him by remaining worthy. I know you'll do this. And if once in awhile you forget I have no doubt you'll soon remember.

We spent your baptismal day surrounded by those we love. And let's talk about how many "greats" you had there! Three great grandparents, one great aunt, and two great uncles - Great Grandpa Andrus and Great Grandma Andrus, Little Grandpa, Great Aunt Shawna, Great Uncle Kerry, and Great Uncle Kelly. What valiant dedication they have toward their family. Aunt Shanny's family, Aunt Angie's family, Aunt Ruth's family, the Andrus fam, and all four of your grandparents also cheered you on. Plus, don't forget your own personal clan. My, how you are loved. Remember to always look toward these righteous examples. They have your back.

After your baptism we went back to our house and had a little program in the backyard. Grandpa and Grandma Patton spoke to you about the Holy Ghost and presented you with a Build-a-bear to help you remember Him. Buckabu and Papa bore their testimonies and taught you a little more about baptism. Dad and I also took a moment to share our love for the gospel and for you. 

We then ate food, played Red Rover, and danced around in the backyard. It was perfect. You were happy.

I love you my tender Ruckus. Stay good. You've got this.

Love,

Mom

Little C and Moo will love these pictures later on in life. :)

Love you.

My Girls

I look at them and can't believe they're real sometimes - These two beautiful, femine pals that transformed this masculine home.

Running errands during the day with an entourage dressed in pink instead of blue still surprises me and makes me smile. But the pink doesn't replace the blue. It doesn't replace the joy or memories of those chubby perfect boy toddlers. It's just different. And sometimes different is fun. 

Our Summer Schedule - That We're Pretty Undependable at Following

Monday: Art day

Tuesday: Movie day

Wednesday: Swim day

Thursday: Activity outside/Service day

Friday: Friend day

Thus far we are mediocre at sticking to this plan. 

Luckily, we are really great at forgiving ourselves.

Before any fun or electronics can occur though my kids must tidy their rooms, put laundry away, do one chore, look and smell presentable, and read for twenty minutes. Once a week they must read a non-fiction book as well and then write a short summary about it.

This sometimes occurs. :)

Last week we implemented some changes and decided that T-F one of the kids would be in charge of overseeing chores instead of me.

It was incredible.

No more whining to the mother. 

Granted, they tried, but I just shipped them off to whoever was the Overseer that day.

Go whine to them my friends.

My hope is that it'll encourage them to:

1. Recognize what good work looks like

2. Understand why whining is super lame

3. Help them feel responsible and learn how to manage kindly

We shall see.

Here are some pictures of our summer fun when we occasionally stick to the schedule... or not:

Swimming:

Ruckus pulling the "chariot" for one of our pals.

Okay, this has nothing to do with anything except it did happen on a summer day. Sweetrotten asked me to curl her hair and then she  admired her glorious self in the mirror for about an hour afterward.

This happened near the pool... so maybe that constitutes as Wednesday Swim Day except it happened on a Thursday. 

Raingutter Regatta:

Lou steals the win! Love that smile.

Brothers racing against one another.

Go Ruckus!

The sail designs speak oodles about their different personalities. 

Art Day - 

and confession, almost everyday around here is art day.

That's what happens when your kids are artsy fartsy.

Have you ever done raised salt painting? It's super simple and all of my people love it. My only advice is to spray it with an adhesive afterward.  

Here's one of Little C looking handsome. This has nothing to do with the schedule, he's just a cutie.

One day (not sure if it was Friend Day) I went out to lunch with my Daddio. I was having a hard time getting my straw to work. 

I guess that's what happens when your dad ties a knot in the bottom of it. Little stinker. :)

Another art day (which we've established is basically everyday) my children chose to make wands. Later, after the wands were completed, I found them choreographing some dance moves with their new props. 

Sitting on the swing in my parents backyard with some of my babies should be on the schedule everyday.

Plus, green is my color.

I love those little hands resting on my knee.

Getting out the tinfoil Sweetrotten shoved up her nose was definitely not on the schedule, but we got 'er done.

Friend Day:

We met up with my dear friend Abby (who I've known since Kindergarten) and her chillens at the park. 

We played for hours.

Happy Summer Faces

Another fun Friend Day for me!

 This is Camille who became my best friend in 4th grade. 

It warms my heart that our children are pals now.

And if it's not on your schedule (because it wasn't on ours) make a little time for your mom to put lipstick on your daughter after enjoying a wonderful lunch together. 

Witnessing this will bring you more joy than adhering to a perfect schedule any day of the week.